Another fun work conversation...

I had an interesting conversation the other day with a student employee (Mr. A), hired to clean the anatomy lab on the weekends. I did you all a favor and edited this immensely. The entire conversation took about 45 minutes. And that’s only with me. My coworker had been discussing this with him for about 15 minutes before I saved her. And while it may seem like I’m annoyed at some points, I really wasn’t. I found the whole conversation very entertaining. Mr. A didn’t, though. He was very, very serious.

Mr. A comes to my desk.

Mr. A: I got confused on this bi-weekly timesheet, and forgot to add some hours to my last one.

Claire: That’s ok. We’ll get you a new one to fill out, we’ll pay you for those on the next pay cycle, and then you can get back on track. Here, I’ll help you fill it out.

Mr. A: This is complicated. At Safeway, I just clocked in, and out.

Claire: Well, this isn’t that complicated, either. You’ll get used to it. Just write down how many hours you work each day, and get your supervisor to sign.

Mr. A: Well, how do I write down that I worked 4 hours and 39 minutes?

Claire: You need to round to the nearest quarter hour mark. So, write that down as 4.75 hours.

Mr. A: I don’t like that. Why can’t we just write down exactly what time we worked?

Claire: Well, I guess so that it makes it easier on everybody processing payroll. Also, that’s how the payroll system is coded, and that’s the policy of Student Employment. Everyone figures over the long run, things even out.

Mr. A: Sure, but what if I consistently work 5-6 minutes under. Over the course of the quarter that could work out to 30 minutes or so that I don’t get paid for. Or the other way around, what if I DO get paid for 30 minutes that I don’t work?

I do the math, and figure we’re talking about a max of $4.

Claire: - Trying to get things moving- Ok, how many hours did you work on Saturday?

Mr. A: Hmmm. Well….you see. This is where it gets a little complicated. My brother came in to help me. And Dr. G said I could just combine his hours with mine, and I could pay him cash.

Claire: - silence - Um. That’s actually not ok, or legal.

Mr. A gets offended, thinking I’m calling him a liar, and shows me the text message from Dr. G giving him permission.

Claire: I believe you, and we’ll work this out this time, but I’m telling you that Dr. G was wrong to tell you this was ok, and this can’t continue. There are all kinds of liability issues, and employment policies being broken by this, (I'm also thinking of random people let loose in the anatomy lab) and I’m telling you now.

For now, what it comes down to is this: you need to work out with him what he’s willing to pay you, fill out the number of hours you agree on, and have him sign. Then we'll pay.

But no more bringing your brother.

Mr. A goes back to the Anatomy lab, and comes back with a signed timesheet.

Mr. A: You know, this place seems like it makes it really easy for an illegal immigrant to work here.

Claire: What do you mean? We verify all employees.

Mr. A: Yeah, but I brought my brother.

Claire: - silence - Good point. But we’re going to rectify that, aren’t we? And it never should have happened.

Mr. A: But I had approval for that!

Claire: Not from me. Dr. G gave you bad information. And UC Davis didn’t hire your brother. You did.

Mr. A: But nothing stopped me.

Claire: Ok, yes. You cheated the system. Congratulations.

Mr. A: It just seems like, a lot of wink, wink, nudge, nudge, under the table, look the other way stuff is happening.

Claire: I’m sorry. Would you like me to remove the hours for your brother? Seriously trying to figure out which side of this argument he's on.

Mr. A thinks long and hard

Mr. A: Ok, yeah. He erases half his hours

Claire: surprised Really?

Mr. A: Yeah. Otherwise, I won't have backup for my point.

Claire:

Mr. A: There should be a better system.

Claire: Like what?

Mr. A: I don’t know, but it's too easy to just lie about my hours.

Claire: - silence - I don't know what to tell you. You fill out a timesheet, somewhat on the honor system, yes. Your supervisor decides if that seems appropriate time for the work you’ve done, and signs. We pay.

Mr. A: But I could be dishonest!

Claire: Yes.

Mr. A: But it shouldn't be that way!

Claire: What exactly would you have us do? Install video cameras, and then have people watch the footage to make sure you were working the whole time?

Mr. A stares at me, silently.

I stare at Mr. A, silently.

Mr. A: I’m not sure what you want me to say.

Claire: - laughing - I’m just not sure there’s anything we can do for you. I’m not even very clear at this point what you want.

Mr. A stares at me, silently.

I stare at Mr. A, silently.

Mr. A: Well, I shouldn't be able to write down a wrong number.

Claire: We don't live in a police state, Mr. A.

Seriously. Imagine this conversation 6 times as long and convoluted.