Saturday, May 31, 2014

Gregory Potpourri

A few days ago I received a package in the mail from Carrie. In the previous week she had inquired quite a few times about whether or not it had arrived yet…obviously she was excited about it, so I was too! When it finally came I opened it eagerly. And boy howdy did she send me the motherload. This is what I found:

1 U.S. dollar bill

1 elastic hair tie

2 outstanding awkward family photos

16 U.S. state stickers, drawn upon.

1 pre-chewed piece of gum wrapped in saran wrap  
Which, upon closer inspection turned out to be:
1 mystery-flavor jelly bean wrapped in saran wrap. Very smooshed. Quite tasty.

1 tooth, presumably from a young human male ca. age 6

I couldn't stop laughing. Any votes on what I should do with the tooth?

Monday, May 26, 2014

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Spider Of Unusual Size

Late the other night, as I'm turning off lights and shutting doors around the house, I glance inside the dark guest bathroom, and see the outline of a GIGANTIC spider against the white porcelain of the sink.  It was a monster.  I yelped and danced for Chris to come.  He took a look, then procured his weapon of choice- the formidable 2nd Edition of Critical Heart Disease in Infants and Children.  I stepped out of the way.

The bathroom is long and narrow, so Chris had to shut the door to really get a good walloping radius, and for a while all I could hear were loud bumps and clanks and curses coming from the bathroom.  Eventually the door swung back open and Chris emerged, breathing heavily, glasses askew.  "I need something different."

"You mean it's still alive?" I squeaked. He didn't answer as he headed for the shoe basket, and I ran to the kitchen cupboard to find something, anything, with a spray nozzle.  We headed back to the bathroom, and relocated the spider.  I was reluctant to even enter the bathroom (what if the spider got between me and the door? Is there any scientific evidence that Thai cleaning products will even slow down a spider of this caliber?), but now I didn't completely trust Chris to finish the job.

With me screeching and jumping in and out of the bathroom, Chris waded into battle.  His flip-flop swung like Thor's hammer, over and over.  I squirted the whole scene with a fine mist of Mr Muscle. At one point I saw a spider leg go flying through the air, and I realized we might be winning.  Eventually (and it took a WHILE), the spider stopped moving, and Chris and I hugged each other, just grateful to have survived, together.


Implements of destruction.
Aftermath. That's a leg in the way back and another in the foreground.

Monday, May 12, 2014

bi-polar beth project

so.  i have this ugly corner of my property, and lots of frustration to get out.  here they both are:

but THEN, i realize that i have LOADS of concrete slabs that i could build a retaining wall with!

but THEN i realize how heavy the stinkers are...

but THEN i remember some good tools that i have..

it takes me lots of sweat, bloody hands, physics, and 2 hours, but i make the beginnings of a cool wall!  they fit together perfectly!  then i will fill the space with dirt and plant some stuff!  maybe a tree!  yay!

AAAAANNND then i realize

that i didn't level the ground before i did it,  and i have to start over.

 the end.

Monday, May 5, 2014


Theo, in his best British accent:  Do you like my Finnish accent?

Lucy: English.  English accent.

Theo: eh, you say England, I say Finland. Tomato, tomahto.

Lucy: No.  That's not how it works.  That's not a thing.

Theo: tomato, tomahto.


Theo, shrugs: Tomato, tornado.  I like that! (bobbles head from side to side) Tomato, tornado!

Lucy: (head explodes)


The beach was glorious this weekend.
Theo had a cough.  I figured, when in Asia...

No matter where you go, the sand castles are the same.
Can you see the lightning in Lucy's hand?

Happy moments.