Friday, April 1, 2016

900 Nights in Bangkok and the World's Your Oyster.

"Someone should do a study on the human's ability to adapt to luxury." - Tina Fey

Our time in Bangkok is already starting to feel like a dream. The other morning when I was putting out food for the lizard in the bathroom, it occurred to me that there are things I have adapted to, and things I would probably never get used to, even if we lived here forever:

-  the lizards, to start. There are at least 2 that live in the kitchen, and now the new baby one in the bathroom (poor little guy, he'll starve in there!). I've gotten used to hearing them late at night,  rummaging around in the trash for food scraps.

- If you'd told me when we first moved here that I would get used to being driven around town, Miss Daisy-style, I would have laughed in your face. Now I happily have the car door opened for me, answer to 'Madam', and sit comfortably in the back seat reading my book while my driver navigates traffic, pumps the gas, and parks the car after dropping me off. I hear you judging me, but here's the would get used to it too.

- But on the subject of luxury, it has been three years and I am not any more comfortable with having someone in my house cleaning than I ever was. By which I mean, extremely UN-comfortable. I never know what to say. I never know where to be, or what I should be doing. I can't use the kitchen, because it feels like her space, and also because then I'm just there, making even more mess, right in front of her. Still, I have persevered, because otherwise who would wash the dishes?

- One of my least favorite things about Asia, and something I'll never be used to, is having random drops of stuff fall on your head when you're walking down the street. I'm not sure what it is, and I'm not sure I want to know. Old rainwater? Condensation from the power lines? Someone tossing something out the window? Or..? No matter what, it's not good.

- The moto-taxi. I'm now comfortable walking up to a cluster of men hanging out on the corner with their motorcycles, picking one out, climbing on the back and zooming away. In fact, it's one of my favorite things here- the efficiency combined with just a touch of danger.

- Speaking of motos, I love being able to push some buttons on my phone and somewhere in the city a moto guy is dispatched to bring me some food. From almost any restaurant in town. For a $2 delivery fee. THAT I have definitely gotten used to.

- I will never get used to the heat here. I mean, I must have adapted somewhat, but it's hard to tell.

- I have gotten used to leaving the kids home alone while I go out. The crazy part is that my friends all have live-in maids so THEY can go out any evening as well. It feels like we're in college. Or is this what old people feel like?

- What also feels like college, in more of a bad way, is apartment living. The apartment itself is fine, but I have not gotten used to sharing common space with so many people. I'd like to have a whipped cream fight, or a chicken party, or shoot a bow and arrow without anyone judging.

It's not exactly real life, but it almost feels like it sometimes. I will miss you, Bangkok.