I am Lord Buckethead. I have run for the office of Prime Minister of the UK in three elections. I am also an intergalactic space lord. My platform:
1. free bicycles for all, to combat obesity and bike theft
2. better pay for elementary school teachers
3. Discipline is key. If any child misbehaves 3 times they are blasted into deep space, with the parents provided a fruit basket of consolation or celebration, depending on the child.
Strong, not entirely stable leadership!
Theo ran for class governor and went to school in a suit and tie to shake hands and garner votes. He also wrote a speech (by himself) that included the line:
"There may come a day when the hearts of fourth graders fail them, but today is not that day!"
Then he did a rap.
After he gave his speech, the other candidates withdrew (not kidding), and he goes into election day tomorrow uncontested. Apparently the hearts of a couple of fourth graders failed them after all.