Monday, March 6, 2017

"I have an idea. Let's make...."

Hal has been wearing me out. He has a very creative brain, and loves to think about how things work, and how they are made. For the last few weeks, he has been wanting to "make" .... well .... everything. All day. Every day. He's asking if we can make things. And he doesn't just accept a simple "no." He will ask multiple times, and days in a row. 

Here is a list of things he's asked to make in the last week. MAKE. Not grow, or visit, or buy. Make. Some seem relatively easy, like lemonade. But others seem pretty impossible, like beach. And it seems endless.

I've starred the ones we actually did, to varying degrees but at least to his satisfaction.


Sandcastle
*snowman
DIRT
*Piñata
*Birdhouse
*Ant house
Gopher house
KEYBOARD
*Easter eggs
*BEEHIVE
Pants
BEACH 
Shorts
*Hat
*Painting
*Flower
SQUASH
*Shower
*Bed (3 different times)
*Umbrella
*Spider trap
Underwear (out of a diaper)
*Necklace
Treehouse
HAMMER
*Book
*Valentines
Calendar
Garlic bread
*Lava lamp
*TOOTHPASTE
Medicine
Ice cream
Soap
Candles
Crayons
*Sign
*ELECTRICITY
*Playground for Mae
*Party decorations
Yogurt
Soda
*MOUNTAIN
*Trash can
*Dog food
*Hay
Lettuce
Blankets (one by knitting, one by quilting)
*Oil
*Lemonade
FLOSS
*ANTLERS
*Salt shaker
POISON OAK
*Fort 
*Flower holder
Grass
*Windmill
Fence 
Fan

"Snowman"

Lemonade

Gopher house

Beehive and Piñata 

Easter Eggs (we hid these three days in a row)

"umbrellas"


Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Home hunting

Well I found a place to live! I thought I should document some of the things it took me to get here:

listings Sarah sent me: 43
times my request to see a place was completely ignored: 7

times I was hung up on: 2
people who decided they weren't going to move out after all: 1
times I was scared off by a crazy landlord: 2
days I decided not to go apartment-hunting due to snowstorms: 4
days I decided to go apartment-hunting in spite of snowstorm: 1
hours spent digging my stuck car out of the snow: 1
snow shovels "borrowed" from unsuspecting strangers: 1
times I considered buying a trailer in a trailer park: 2
complexes that lied about having apartments available at the listed price: 4
complexes that smelled like a meth lab*: 2
apartments leased to someone else before they were even available to be viewed: 4
times I thought I might have activated a tripwire: 1
times I accidentally broke into the wrong apartment: 1

aaaand finally,

times I peed in the bathtub of an apartment for rent: 1
It sure has been an adventure!

* I do not know what this smells like.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

A Halloween that knew no limits

 Did someone say they wanted more pictures of the insanity that was this year's halloween? Here you go!

Hugo: Self-driving Google Techie
Best parts: Glow sticks on the door that light up, mini license plate, taking it to Google X and seeing everyone get a good laugh







Me:French Knight
Best part: Kids reading the script to get candy, knowing my french accent was just about at bad as John Cleese's bad accent, watching the recognition register on people's faces
 
Gwen: Mermaid
Best Parts: removeable tail fin, the look on her face when she first saw herself with hair extensions, how I'm worried that crown will give away how much free time I have on my hands



Levi: Ant Man
Best Parts: Clickable shrink button made from a flashlight button, removeable face shield, peanut butter jar lid ear pieces, Levi saying "this is EPIC!" whenever we would finish a part



Friday, October 14, 2016

Can't Stop, Won't Stop

Just to give you an idea of how in over my head I am with Halloween costumes right now, here is the list of supplies I've used so far.

Duct tape
Masking tape
Hot glue
Super glue
Mod podge
Elmers glue
Joint compound
Velcro
Zip ties 
Thread

Cardboard
Toilet paper
Acrylic paints
Primer
Spray paints
Fabrics
Felt
Plastic cups
Plastic spoons
Floss containers
Elastic
Milk jug cap
Sea Shells
Jewels
Plastic tiara
Beads
Glow sticks
Peanut butter jar lids
Drinking straws

Power drill
Sewing machine
Electric hand mixer
Blender

Monday, September 26, 2016

Yesterday, in Three Acts


Act One

Scene One
Hal gets in a screaming match with my phone.

Hal: No, YOU are a robot! I am not a robot! I’m Hal!
Siri: I would prefer not to talk about HAL.
Hal (sobbing): What you mean?!


Scene Two
Gordon and Hal have a sit-down chat.

Hal: Why doesn’t she want to talk about me?
Gordon: There was a bad robot-computer once named HAL. She’s not talking about you.
Hal: Can I see a video?


Act Two

Scene One
Hal watching YouTube clips from 2001: A Space Odyssey

Dave: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Dave: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL.
…...
Dave: HAL, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!
HAL: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.


Scene Two
Hal wandering around our friends’ house, telling everybody he can see, one at a time, about the robot-computer HAL.

Hal: He doesn’t have arms or legs, but moves with the spaceship. He’s called HAL, and he won’t open the doors for Dave. And he talks through the red spot.


Act Three

Scene One
Hal watches more video of HAL before bed.

HAL: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.
Dave: Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.
HAL: It's called "Daisy."
[sings while slowing down]
HAL: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.


Scene Two
Bedtime. Hal crying in Gordon’s arms in his bed.

Hal: But I don’t want Dave to turn him off! Why did Dave shut down HAL? But why?!?

Monday, August 8, 2016

Sink bath


Theo: "To be honest, this is a bit awkward.  But I'm doing it for tradition."

Monday, July 4, 2016

I like this kid.

Some days I get so worn down by Hal- his energy, his needs, his lack of focus. He often sings at the top of his lungs. He has been known to jump on my belly when I wasn't expecting it, or pull my hair. He might dump out every bucket of toys in the house. He wakes up his sister.

But then he will also wrap his arms around my neck and say, "I really like you, Mom."

Or he will be chatting with his Uncle Adam, and say (unprompted), "Thank you for letting us stay at your house!"

Or he will watch Mae laughing across the room, and say, "Oh, she's cute!"

Or he will say to me, when I come through the door after a church meeting, "You shouldn't go to church without me! I missed you."

Or he will say a prayer, and thank Heavenly Father for letting his cousin Eric stay an extra day.

Or he will say, appreciatively, "This is a really, really good dinner, Mom!"

(These were all in the last four days)


I know it's unlikely, but I hope he's always this sweet.