Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Group Chat of Brilliance

Carrie: Apparently you can clone your cat for $25,000. That made me wonder about cloning Rachel.
Beth: Sign me up. Wait, so do I get to raise her? Or we cloning older Rachel?
Carrie: Well, I think she'd start out little. But how cute would that be? But what if you got an evil clone and ended up with a mean Rachel? Clearly I'm going to have to think this through.
Beth: No such thing.
Carrie: YET
Sarah: I'll take one
Beth: This is obviously a completely full proof plan. (Fool proof? Huh. Never thought about that saying.)
Vivian: Who gets the original? And do we have to keep them separate at all times?
Carrie: Me. Because I'm oldest. You guys have more time to raise your own.
Sarah: Haha
Claire: Also, don't you think seeing a real evil Rachel is worth it?
Carrie: I would kind of like to see evil Rachel, but I'd be scared too.
Carrie: Would we make original Rachel babysit the littles?
Claire: Hahaha. Of course.
Beth: She could RAISE the Littles, then pass them out when they were properly ready.
Vivian: Hahaha
Claire: Does Rachel want one of her own?
Beth: Hahaha
Carrie: Oh! Good question. It would be like picking a puppy our of the litter. "I'll take that little frisky one in the corner."
Claire: This would be a pretty interesting study in nature vs nurture. Which Rachel would be the coolest? Smartest? Nicest?
Sarah: Which one of us raised her best
Beth: It seems like 'cloning' implies a certain amount of 'same same', don't you think? If we're gonna clone Rachel, I want a Rachel.
Claire: Well, then you'll have to send her to Mom for raising.
Beth: Carrie, you look into the gene splicing and we'll give her some of your sleeping genes and then she'll be perfect.
Carrie: I dunno, sounds risky. What if she started sleeping AND throwing money at problems? Could be all wrong.
Beth: Haha
Sarah: Hahaha

Rachel: Oh my gosh, I go take a shower and come back to my 6+ lives all planned out! This is incredible.
(general laughing)
Vivian: Oh great, RACHEL is on this thread? How are we going to steal some of her hair now?

Monday, March 5, 2018

Of Chickens and Onions, a poem by Carrie

"Will chickens eat onion skins?"
I wonder as I chop.
I wouldn't.
But maybe
that's not relevant.

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Jerry Hearts Vivian

Jerry made a pretty awesome video for Vivian. You can watch it here.

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Rachel in a Nutshell

Rachel cleaned out the center console of her car today. She found: ketchup, a CDC pen, a Provo bingo card, sunscreen from her trip to Cote d'Ivoire (in 2014), a spoon, Victoria Secret lip gloss (she claims is not hers), pepper spray (also not hers), and five fire crackers (definitely hers).

Friday, February 9, 2018

Chase That Happy, II

What little things make YOU happy?

Neighborhoods where the houses look different from one another.
Bright juicy oranges on cold grey winter days.
When Theo prays that we will be able to avoid "dastardly sins".
Naps with cats.
Banff film festival trailers.

Mae calling me "Mama Pig," with a sparkle in her eye.
Chocolate cake.
Hearing kids in another room, playing and laughing with each other.
Ant spray.

When Keeley says, "you know what? I like you."
When something makes me laugh out loud.
Spring time
Going to the movies

Board games
Chocolate. Good Chocolate.
When I impersonate Elvis.

Mae singing me skidamarink-a-dink
Underdogs winning
Old men wearing hats
Waking up to surprise snow
Drinking beverages out of goblets

warm water on cold days
my older kids
my younger kids (in a totally different way)
slow motion humans put to cool music
clever scriptures you never noticed before
sydneys art

Monday, January 29, 2018

Peekaboo, ICU

Jerry’s surgery at UCLA was a big, scary event that had surprisingly happy moments mixed in as well. In no particular order, here are some memories from the week:

-          The Safe House. Vivian somehow managed to find an apartment 2 blocks away from the hospital. By the second day we had worked out an elaborate short cut where if you went across the hospital gardens, through the parking garage, around the corner, through a maze of identical hallways and entered a code on an unmarked door you would find yourself in a perfectly staged apartment of brown suede couches and tasteful window coverings. The safe house felt…safe.
-          We played Trivia Crack in the pre-op area to pass the time and keep everyone from thinking too much about what was to come. The pre-op area did not feel safe.
-          Initially Jerry’s surgery was scheduled for 5am, but it got pushed back and back. He didn’t go into the OR until almost 3pm, which meant that we didn’t see him again until 930 pm and we didn’t get back to the safe house that night until almost 2am. That was a long day.
-          BUT, seeing Jerry in the ICU that night was delightful. Everyone was a little bit giddy with relief to see him awake and OK and so very Jerry. He told knock knock jokes. He expressed his love for each Ashby sister individually. He sassed the nurse. At one point, after a particularly dry joke the nurse looked at him quizzically, trying to figure out if he was kidding. Eventually she tilted her head to one side, narrowed her eyes and said, “I’m going to write down ‘humor- intact.’”
-          There was a moment when Jerry stood up in his hospital gown and I averted my eyes to avoid any impropriety. A few minutes later he said, “Carrie, I have a song for you,” and he serenaded me with Chicago’s ‘Look Away’. (If you see me walkin by, and the tears are in my eyes, look away, baby, look away…)

-          While playing trivia, Jerry knew an answer about the Michal Jackson song ‘Smooth Criminal’. We were so impressed that we decided we would ask him the same question after the surgery to see if he still had it. He did.

-          One of his nurses was named Natalia and she had a thick Ukranian accent. At one point after Claire had arrived, Jerry asked for another pillow. The nurse nodded and then said, “You haf all dees women here,” (gesturing at all of us). We weren’t sure what she meant by that exactly.

-          The Magic Helmet. After his surgery, Jerry had a truly impressively gauze-wrapped head. The bandage came to just below his eyebrows and made it look like he was wearing an igloo on his head. It was somehow really adorable.

-          While waiting for Jerry to get out of surgery, we decided to get some dinner. Vivian suggested Korean BBQ. I was concerned that having a BBQ while Jerry was in the OR was a little too close to singing karaoke while your husband is getting a spinal tap (I’ve made that mistake before). But there was no actual BBQ at the Korean BBQ, so that seemed OK after all.

Monday, January 22, 2018

Art Reincarnated

In preparation for their trip to the Netherlands over Christmas, Carrie asked our friend Elliott if he would give the Gregory family an art history lesson via Google Video so they could learn a bit about the art they’d see. One of the pieces he covered was The Feast of St Nicholas by Jan Steen, a piece that exemplifies a popular trend from that time period in which the scenes depicted serve as warning against vice. In this piece, we see a greedy child who won’t share, her sobbing brother who has been naughty, a drunk father, a creepy grandma, food and debris strewn around, etc. etc.

Carrie made a joke about how “our family could serve as a warning against vice” and thus the idea to recreate the painting was conceived. It’s amazing how willing everyone was to participate and how quickly it all came together - Carrie decided who was going to play which part, everyone helped find their own costume and rearrange the dining room, Beth and Sydney directed us, Sarah outperformed everyone, and I did minimal photoshop edits. And thus the masterpiece was reborn:

Presenting our “living tableau” to Elliott for Christmas was so satisfying. He loved it so much he was at first speechless, then he couldn't stop talking about it. His only critique: "You know what's missing? The vice. Everyone in your family is just filled with too much goodness." He says he's going to share this in all his art history classes.

I thought that was the end of it, but then I decided to jump on a current fad where you use the Google Arts and Culture app to take a selfie and have your face analyzed to see what piece of artwork you look like. Guess what result I got?

A self-portrait of Jan Steen, painter of the Feast of St Nicholas! I like to think Google face analytics stared into my soul and saw that since I helped recreate his painting, a little bit of Jan is reborn in me.

But also, I do kind of look like him.