Rachel came to visit us awhile ago and I really didn't have anything planned to entertain her. I kept thinking about Vivian (what would Vivian do?), and how she always comes up with just the perfect outing. Rocky Mtn National Park? Too crowded. Horseback riding? Kinda expensive. I guess we could just go on a bike ride, or...maybe we could get the chickens drunk? Yes. Perfect.
After a truly fantastic lack of protest from Rachel the game was afoot. Chris supported the idea, but not to the point of actually being willing to go purchase the alcohol, which left Rachel and I in the chilled beverages section of Safeway, feeling a little in over our heads. What kind of beer do chickens drink? Cheep beer, right? So we chose the least expensive one, felt exposed and awkward getting carded at the checkout counter and ran guiltily out to the car clutching our beer in a little brown paper bag.
Back at home some questions remained. How much beer does it take to intoxicate a chicken? How do you even get them to drink the beer? How do you know when the chicken is drunk- does it just get snuggly? Or sad? We poured some beer in their water dish but they seemed uninterested. I mixed up a slurry with some oatmeal but they abandoned it after a few pecks. Finally we soaked some bread in the beer and they ate a reasonable amount...before wandering off, still appearing remarkably (and disappointingly) coordinated. These chickens would absolutely have passed a roadside sobriety test.
We looked at each other, perplexed, until Chris took a better look at the beer we were using. "That stuff is basically water, you know," he said. "The cheap stuff is about 2% alcohol."
"Can we go back to the store and get whiskey this time?!" asked a still-motivated Theo.
But the thrill had gone out of the game. We ate our dinner, watched a movie, went to bed, and mostly forgot about it until the next day when Lucy, ever noble, told me she'd brought it up in her annual bishopric interview:
"Is there anything you need to confess to the bishop?"
"Well, is it a sin to try to get your chickens drunk on beer?"
-Long Pause-
"Um. Hmmm. OK, maybe just don't do it again."
No promises, Brother Walker, no promises.
(I thought about including a picture of a not drunk chicken on here, but it would have just looked like a regular chicken, so...just use your imagination.)
Wednesday, August 7, 2019
Summer 2019
San Diego! Cayucos! Yellowstone! Salt Lake City! Cousins Camp! Harry Potter World! Madera! Salmon, Riggins, and Rexburg Idaho!
Summer 2019 ranged far and wide, and a good time was had by all. What are your memories from the last few months? Pictures needed.
Carrie and the kids spent a week hanging out in San Diego. We slept in a tent in the garage and watched Women's World Cup games every day. We scoured the city for 40 dark chocolate bars for Jerry's birthday.
The Rees Family had fun taking visitors to the beach, enjoying their best blackberry harvest to date, and trying out new skills at the local track and fields meets.
Highlights of Cousins Camp: the Flinch game. The story of Carolyn capturing a bullfrog shirtless at 2am for the Flinch game. The Great Ashby Family Baking Show. The lip sync battle, with Hal as Bon Jovi. The weather. Building the raft that actually floated. Gail, Mere, and Carolyn reenacting the road trip with Grandma. Rachel was casually informed that the bed she slept in was "the one Cousin Leslie was conceived in".
Summer 2019 ranged far and wide, and a good time was had by all. What are your memories from the last few months? Pictures needed.
Carrie and the kids spent a week hanging out in San Diego. We slept in a tent in the garage and watched Women's World Cup games every day. We scoured the city for 40 dark chocolate bars for Jerry's birthday.
The Rees Family had fun taking visitors to the beach, enjoying their best blackberry harvest to date, and trying out new skills at the local track and fields meets.
Highlights of Cousins Camp: the Flinch game. The story of Carolyn capturing a bullfrog shirtless at 2am for the Flinch game. The Great Ashby Family Baking Show. The lip sync battle, with Hal as Bon Jovi. The weather. Building the raft that actually floated. Gail, Mere, and Carolyn reenacting the road trip with Grandma. Rachel was casually informed that the bed she slept in was "the one Cousin Leslie was conceived in".
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| We floated the Salmon river for 90 miles. |
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| Theo enjoys safety, and a sandwich. |
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| Couch time at the beach cabin. |
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| Wizarding World. Just what you'd expect, but somehow even more expensive. |
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| Memorable CC Lip Sync |
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| Beat boxing sale open |
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| Beth and Sarah saved Rachel from 4 hours of waiting in the Fresno airport |
Lawrences were orphans for the Beach this year, but had their first whole family vacation in years. Yellowstone, Rexburg, SLC - dropping Darcy and Sydney off at college.
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| Sydney comes to live with Rachel! |
Wednesday, July 17, 2019
Golden Rain Tree...of DEATH.
"I ate some of your tomatillos," Theo mentioned as he casually leaned up against the counter in the kitchen, happily reaching for a peach from the bowl. "Off of your tree."
This caught my attention for two reasons:
1. Tomatillos don't grow on trees, and
2. I DIDN'T PLANT ANY TOMATILLOS.
"Did it look like a little green tomato?" I asked him. His eyes got shifty. "Well...it had those papery leaves..." and he pointed out of the window, at a definitely NOT tomatillo tree. "Those are just seed pods," I said. He started to look a little concerned. "Jackson ate them too." Now Jackson was interested. "I only ate them because Theo made me! Plus, I spit them out."
The next day Carrie and I were catching Sydney up on recent happenings and told her about this little escapade. She decided to do some research and looked the tree up online. "Aww, it's called a Golden Rain Tree. How pretty! That's a nice name," she said, scrolling lazily down the screen. Suddenly her face fell. "Although many people believe it is just the flowers that have the toxins, the whole plant is poisonous, including the seeds, pods, flowers, buds, leaves, petals, wood, bark, and roots." She continued, "The seed pods are the most toxic. Symptoms can progress from vomiting and diarrhea to dilated pupils, coma, and death."
In unison, we all turned our heads in slow motion to look at Theo, who was upside down on the couch eating a popsicle, pretty clearly not dead. "Number 5 on the world's most poisonous seeds list," said Sydney. We called Theo in and informed him of his brush with death. "You're the boy who lived!" said Carrie.
"I'm Harry Potter, y'all," said Theo. "We should run some tests. Which cousin do we like the least?"
This caught my attention for two reasons:
1. Tomatillos don't grow on trees, and
2. I DIDN'T PLANT ANY TOMATILLOS.
"Did it look like a little green tomato?" I asked him. His eyes got shifty. "Well...it had those papery leaves..." and he pointed out of the window, at a definitely NOT tomatillo tree. "Those are just seed pods," I said. He started to look a little concerned. "Jackson ate them too." Now Jackson was interested. "I only ate them because Theo made me! Plus, I spit them out."
The next day Carrie and I were catching Sydney up on recent happenings and told her about this little escapade. She decided to do some research and looked the tree up online. "Aww, it's called a Golden Rain Tree. How pretty! That's a nice name," she said, scrolling lazily down the screen. Suddenly her face fell. "Although many people believe it is just the flowers that have the toxins, the whole plant is poisonous, including the seeds, pods, flowers, buds, leaves, petals, wood, bark, and roots." She continued, "The seed pods are the most toxic. Symptoms can progress from vomiting and diarrhea to dilated pupils, coma, and death."
In unison, we all turned our heads in slow motion to look at Theo, who was upside down on the couch eating a popsicle, pretty clearly not dead. "Number 5 on the world's most poisonous seeds list," said Sydney. We called Theo in and informed him of his brush with death. "You're the boy who lived!" said Carrie.
"I'm Harry Potter, y'all," said Theo. "We should run some tests. Which cousin do we like the least?"
Monday, June 3, 2019
Can We Go to Nebraska?
I asked Rachel, "What do you want to do this weekend?"
She replied, "Can we go to Nebraska?"
Well, sure honey. Whatever you want.
So we did. We went to Nebraska. We convinced Chris ("There's a diner named 'Diner'"). We coerced Lucy ("You can bring your book and you don't have to talk to anyone"). We sold Theo ("You can feel superior to people from Nebraska"), so Saturday morning found us loaded into the Subaru and heading east.
- We played Nebraska bingo. We found: people eating Rocky Mtn oysters un-ironically, hay bales, birds of prey, a tumbleweed, bullet holes, a pile of tires, antelope, people wearing camo, a hill. We did not find: rabbits, a misspelled sign, someone wearing a bolo tie.
- Things we could have seen but didn't: an underground bus buried by an really old guy who wanted to give Rachel a tour; an ICBM missile leftover from the cold war (pride of Kimball, NE); the hike to Pawnee Buttes, which weren't that impressive despite their funny name.
- Other things we did see: the Bison Breath Saloon, acres of sheep, Theo successfully avoiding peeing into the wind, M Gould's Buryville (featuring the metal sculpture 'Mr Cranky' and the aforementioned bus), and a 30-ft tall concrete statue of the Virgin Mary.
- We needed to make 1 turn in 50 miles. We missed it because we were spitting cherry pits out the window of the car.
- total trip miles: 228
- # of states: 3 (we came home through Wyoming)
- how far we made it along the trail to Pawnee Buttes before losing interest: 92 yards
- # of minutes spent trying to spell 'Nebraska' out of dried cow patties: 0.5
- # of minutes spent purposefully mispronouncing the word "Buttes": 22.0
- # of minutes Theo spent creatively dissing the flat Nebraskan countryside before being informed that we were still in Colorado: 17
- Average age of diners in 'Diner': 73
- Acres in Pawnee National Grasslands: 193,060
- # of trees seen: 1
- Most ironic sign: "Welcome to Nebraska, Home of Arbor Day"
- How much sense of humor Lucy had about possibly getting lost in Nebraska and getting home late for her mandatory band performance: Very little. (we arrived home on time)
- # of states Rachel has now visited: 42
She replied, "Can we go to Nebraska?"
Well, sure honey. Whatever you want.
So we did. We went to Nebraska. We convinced Chris ("There's a diner named 'Diner'"). We coerced Lucy ("You can bring your book and you don't have to talk to anyone"). We sold Theo ("You can feel superior to people from Nebraska"), so Saturday morning found us loaded into the Subaru and heading east.
- We played Nebraska bingo. We found: people eating Rocky Mtn oysters un-ironically, hay bales, birds of prey, a tumbleweed, bullet holes, a pile of tires, antelope, people wearing camo, a hill. We did not find: rabbits, a misspelled sign, someone wearing a bolo tie.
- Things we could have seen but didn't: an underground bus buried by an really old guy who wanted to give Rachel a tour; an ICBM missile leftover from the cold war (pride of Kimball, NE); the hike to Pawnee Buttes, which weren't that impressive despite their funny name.
- Other things we did see: the Bison Breath Saloon, acres of sheep, Theo successfully avoiding peeing into the wind, M Gould's Buryville (featuring the metal sculpture 'Mr Cranky' and the aforementioned bus), and a 30-ft tall concrete statue of the Virgin Mary.
- We needed to make 1 turn in 50 miles. We missed it because we were spitting cherry pits out the window of the car.
- total trip miles: 228
- # of states: 3 (we came home through Wyoming)
- how far we made it along the trail to Pawnee Buttes before losing interest: 92 yards
- # of minutes spent trying to spell 'Nebraska' out of dried cow patties: 0.5
- # of minutes spent purposefully mispronouncing the word "Buttes": 22.0
- # of minutes Theo spent creatively dissing the flat Nebraskan countryside before being informed that we were still in Colorado: 17
- Average age of diners in 'Diner': 73
- Acres in Pawnee National Grasslands: 193,060
- # of trees seen: 1
- Most ironic sign: "Welcome to Nebraska, Home of Arbor Day"
- How much sense of humor Lucy had about possibly getting lost in Nebraska and getting home late for her mandatory band performance: Very little. (we arrived home on time)
- # of states Rachel has now visited: 42
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| The turnaround point on the Pawnee Buttes trail; Theo frolicking. |
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| Diner |
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| Old people really love Rachel. |
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| The infamous tumbleweed disguise. |
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
Snippets from my life recently...
Mae wanted some cereal for breakfast. She requested a kind we hadn't had in a while. As I handed over her bowl, I said, "Now, this cereal is a little old, so let me know if it's good, or if it's weird."
She said, "Mom, I don't like weird kids, but I like weird cereal."
______________________________________________________
Hal has been very dedicated to teaching Mae about "church" stuff. He writes out lessons on the white board, and even made up a worksheet for her to complete.
She said, "Mom, I don't like weird kids, but I like weird cereal."
______________________________________________________
Hal has been very dedicated to teaching Mae about "church" stuff. He writes out lessons on the white board, and even made up a worksheet for her to complete.
(He helped us. Every thing was not sins. He protects us. He has an angel. I love him.)
_________________________________________________________________________
Mae got a new stuffed tiger from her very first dentist visit. She has named it Alex Amy Honnold.
_______________________________________________________________________
My back went out a couple weeks ago, and it made me pretty focused on only the pain. Meaning- I wasn't much of a conversationalist, or very social.
One morning, Gordon saw me putting on make-up before school drop-off. I guess it was a rare sight for him, because he said something like, "Doing something special?"
I said, "I'm trying to distract from my lack of social skills with make-up."
He said, "That's why I married you- what you lack in personality, you make up for with mascara."
____________________________________________________________________
I've been doing a lot of mothering from bed. One night, when Gordon was working late, I was up long enough to make dinner for the kids, but got back in bed to eat it. When the kids made their way back upstairs, I asked Hal if he finished his food. He took a camera, and took pictures of his bowl, and Mae's, to prove that he finished his food, but Mae did not.
I guess I just have to trust which bowl is his, right?
Sunday, February 17, 2019
Happy Birthday Tim!!!!!
Vivian
A while back I was listening to a radio talk show and they were asking people to call in and tell their claim to fame or a time that they were "famous". (Note the appropriately used quote marks there)
It reminded me of the time in Santa Barbara that Dad and Kathy had purchased a piece of furniture, a dresser I think, from a store on State Street. Tim was going to bring it back for them and when we went to pick it up, he had to bring his jeep around to the front of the store to load it. On the way around he had to sweet talk some police officers to get around a blockade because of a 4th of July parade that was about to begin. Somehow, we got through. We thought the dresser might fit in the back of the jeep, but it was too big, so we had to strap it too the top. All of this took a bit of time and all the while we could see horses and floats up the street getting ready to come down. With the dresser firmly secured to the roof rack, Tim and I jumped in and as we started to drive it became clear from the crowds that there was no way to get off the parade route until... the end of the parade route.
There were hundreds of people lining the streets, waving flags, watching for something interesting to pass by.
Tim rolled down both windows and began to make announcements with his PA. "Helloooo Santa Barbara!!! Thanks for coming out on this beautiful day! The parade will begin in just a few moments! You're all looking great!" I waved and smiled at the crowd like the proud winner of a beauty pageant that was sponsored by a local budget moving company.
Sarah
I was going to the temple for the first time and Tim couldn't be there with us. He wrote me a nice note that I still have. I think the first time I really hung out with him is while he and Beth were dating - I went with them to San Luis to go rock climbing. I am also thinking of all the things he has done for me and others.
Rachel
Tim is funny – remember when he put that Free Cat sign next to the dead cat on the side of the 41?
A while back I was listening to a radio talk show and they were asking people to call in and tell their claim to fame or a time that they were "famous". (Note the appropriately used quote marks there)
It reminded me of the time in Santa Barbara that Dad and Kathy had purchased a piece of furniture, a dresser I think, from a store on State Street. Tim was going to bring it back for them and when we went to pick it up, he had to bring his jeep around to the front of the store to load it. On the way around he had to sweet talk some police officers to get around a blockade because of a 4th of July parade that was about to begin. Somehow, we got through. We thought the dresser might fit in the back of the jeep, but it was too big, so we had to strap it too the top. All of this took a bit of time and all the while we could see horses and floats up the street getting ready to come down. With the dresser firmly secured to the roof rack, Tim and I jumped in and as we started to drive it became clear from the crowds that there was no way to get off the parade route until... the end of the parade route.
There were hundreds of people lining the streets, waving flags, watching for something interesting to pass by.
Tim rolled down both windows and began to make announcements with his PA. "Helloooo Santa Barbara!!! Thanks for coming out on this beautiful day! The parade will begin in just a few moments! You're all looking great!" I waved and smiled at the crowd like the proud winner of a beauty pageant that was sponsored by a local budget moving company.
Sarah
I was going to the temple for the first time and Tim couldn't be there with us. He wrote me a nice note that I still have. I think the first time I really hung out with him is while he and Beth were dating - I went with them to San Luis to go rock climbing. I am also thinking of all the things he has done for me and others.
Rachel
Tim is funny – remember when he put that Free Cat sign next to the dead cat on the side of the 41?
Tim is good in a fight – like when
he brought a chainsaw to a snowball fight.
Tim is a hero – he stepped up and stomped his way through a
frozen pond to rescue me and Sydney when all you schmucks were just watching.
Tim is a good brother– he baptized me, he made me stilts, he
took me to hockey games, he gave me 100 $1 bills all taped together in an
endless ribbon I got to unfurl when I was saving up for my first ever international
trip.
Tim’s a pretty great guy.
Carrie
Well, this is how I think of Tim. Rocking a hammock after a big fishing adventure. I hope there are many more of both in your future.
Carrie
Well, this is how I think of Tim. Rocking a hammock after a big fishing adventure. I hope there are many more of both in your future.
Claire
Tim is such a likable guy, it was very easy to see him as family. It's probably good he was the first brother. I'm not the biggest fan of change, or interlopers, so I thought I'd be more wary of one of my sisters bringing home an addition for the first time. But when Beth and Tim woke me in the middle of the night to announce their engagement, I only remember happiness and excitement.
I also have loved watching him interact with my kids over the years. He makes them feel at ease way faster than any 6'4" man should.
The first time I ever met Tim, he felt very familiar to me, and I asked him if we knew each other. We were at a young adult dance (even though I was only 17 at the time). He thought I was hitting on him, and was weirded out. He couldn't get rid of me that easy, though. Haha.
I know the sisters are a lot to take, so thanks for jumping in, Tim.
You're a charming, hardworking, interesting friend, and I'm glad to know you. Happy birthday!
Thursday, January 24, 2019
Who Even Liked This Weekend? *ME!!*
We had a super duper 40th birthday weekend getaway for Claire in Red
Feather Lakes, CO, that was practically perfect in every way.
*feel free to add any memories from Thursday, plus any else I've forgotten
*feel free to add any memories from Thursday, plus any else I've forgotten
- Theo rhapsodizing about his love: "I've got the hotskis for [name redacted], she is one smokin' hot piece of bacon" (Carrie: just because you're not using the word steak does not mean bacon is ok), practicing hurling Shakespearean insults at potential slanderers
- "Donde esta mis pajamas" - Vivian. "Here is your pillow (piyo)" - Carrie
- Discovering Beth's aversion to the word 'boogers'. Asking super tired Sarah if she would ever say the word, and her response: "...boogers".
- Hot tubbing in the misty morning with goblets of orange juice
- Thrift store shopping. Finding awesome lumberjack hat
- Sarah's response to how China's first plants grown on the moon died. "Cause it's the moon!"
- 8 milkshakes for 7 people at Vern's. "Who even likes vanilla?!" Beth and Carrie: ME! *jump with arms up in the air
- Vivian navigating unplowed mountain roads like a champ
- "The logs are like THIS BIG!" (Rachel puts arms around her head to show size, gets made fun of) Claire measures spill of ranch same way. Becomes standard unit of measurement for weekend
- Mom starting a snowball fight, denying it
- Pretend cross-country ski race
- Hot chocolate tea party with Mexican, salted caramel, and Thomas Jefferson flavors
- Power outage, yoga party in the dark
- Power goes back on and off and on again at 3am and 5am
- Everyone gets own beds at cabin, and even bunk room is made of quiet full sized bunk beds
- Working on the escape game, Sarah saving us by solving maze clue
- Beth and Vivian launching a log into the frozen lake
- Alllllmost asking random strangers if Rachel can ride their Zamboni
- Slingshotting Rachel on the ice
- Gnome hunting, and feeling like we had to whisper once we found them
- Super fun but ill-advised sledding down hill in backyard that ended in weeds and bushes
- Having a telescope provided by Airbnb, figuring out how to use it for super blood wolf moon eclipse. Listening to Star Wars, 2001 Space Odyssey, Pony Man, Moondance, Moonshadow. "The moon looks different with my glasses on" - Sarah
- Breakfast at Beaver Meadows resort, followed by hockey and ice skating. Random kid complimenting Claire on her hockey skills "you know what you're doing!"
- Mom claiming she's not competitive
- Carrie throwing a pillow at Vivian sleeping below because she slept through alarm
- Poudre? I barely know 'er!
- Theo, when we came back from the weekend - "so are we going to do that thing where we all snuggle in bed together?"
- Sorting Theo into his Hogwarts house with a panel of witches. Whispering around his head. Asking for Lucy's opinion - "I don't even work here". Ultimately - it's Hufflepuff!
- Playing pacifist Fortnite
- Hot tubbing - gust of wind blew snow off roof into faces
- Theo wearing suit to school for birthday - "I don't need a jacket, I'll just clothe myself in pretention"
- Playing UNO on the floor of the airport while waiting for three different planes
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