Can We Go to Nebraska?

I asked Rachel, "What do you want to do this weekend?"
She replied, "Can we go to Nebraska?"

Well, sure honey. Whatever you want.

So we did. We went to Nebraska.  We convinced Chris ("There's a diner named 'Diner'"). We coerced Lucy ("You can bring your book and you don't have to talk to anyone"). We sold Theo ("You can feel superior to people from Nebraska"), so Saturday morning found us loaded into the Subaru and heading east.

- We played Nebraska bingo. We found: people eating Rocky Mtn oysters un-ironically, hay bales, birds of prey, a tumbleweed, bullet holes, a pile of tires, antelope, people wearing camo, a hill. We did not find: rabbits, a misspelled sign, someone wearing a bolo tie.

- Things we could have seen but didn't: an underground bus buried by an really old guy who wanted to give Rachel a tour; an ICBM missile leftover from the cold war (pride of Kimball, NE); the hike to Pawnee Buttes, which weren't that impressive despite their funny name.

- Other things we did see: the Bison Breath Saloon, acres of sheep, Theo successfully avoiding peeing into the wind, M Gould's Buryville (featuring the metal sculpture 'Mr Cranky' and the aforementioned bus), and a 30-ft tall concrete statue of the Virgin Mary.

- We needed to make 1 turn in 50 miles. We missed it because we were spitting cherry pits out the window of the car.

- total trip miles: 228
- # of states: 3 (we came home through Wyoming)
- how far we made it along the trail to Pawnee Buttes before losing interest: 92 yards
- # of minutes spent trying to spell 'Nebraska' out of dried cow patties: 0.5
- # of minutes spent purposefully mispronouncing the word "Buttes": 22.0
- # of minutes Theo spent creatively dissing the flat Nebraskan countryside before being informed that we were still in Colorado: 17
- Average age of diners in 'Diner': 73
- Acres in Pawnee National Grasslands: 193,060
- # of trees seen: 1
- Most ironic sign: "Welcome to Nebraska, Home of Arbor Day"
- How much sense of humor Lucy had about possibly getting lost in Nebraska and getting home late for her mandatory band performance: Very little. (we arrived home on time)
- # of states Rachel has now visited: 42

The turnaround point on the Pawnee Buttes trail; Theo frolicking.

Diner

Old people really love Rachel.

The infamous tumbleweed disguise.