Unusual Travel Suggestions You Should Say "No" To

I've been working a lot this week. It gets pretty slow at night, so I spend a lot of time at the computer in the little doctor's room, just hanging out. Every night at about 4am a really old guy named Norman rolls past my office on one of those motorized shopping carts, carrying a rolled up newspaper. He usually waves hello and I wave back. I figure he is probably in charge of delivering the newspapers to the hospital wards and I don't think much about it.


Last night, in addition to my usual polite wave, I said, "I always know the night's almost over when I see you go by." Then I turned back to my book.


About 15 minutes later, he passed by again, which never happens. "I could make your night go faster and give you a kiss," he said, as he rolled past my open door. I looked up, startled, trying to come up with a response that wasn't too friendly but wasn't too grouchy either.


"Well," I said, "that would be...(my brain raced, trying to pick just the right adjective)...memorable."


Memorable? All the adjectives in the world, and I settle on memorable? I mean, I was trying hard not to be insulting, but come on.


Just out of sight, the scooter screeched to a halt. Motor whirring, he backed up and stopped in the doorway. "Really?" he said. "Seriously, come on, lets go," and he made a vague head gesture towards the parking lot.


At this point I'm really flustered. I can't believe this 80 yr old man thinks there's a chance I'm going to hop on the back of the Elder-Scoot and motor on out to the parking lot with him for some snogging. I picture us rolling slowly past the nurses station at 3 miles/hr, their blank stares as they watch us go.


I shook my head to clear it and managed, "Sorry, I have a no kissing at work policy." He had the nerve to look genuinely disappointed. I think he said something else, but at that point I was slooowly closing the office door. I'm going to set an alarm to remind myself to close it tonight as well. Frankly, Norman makes me a little nervous. But I think I can outrun him.