At work, we recently posted a notice for a student assistant job, and received about 100 resumes in three days. I've been going through them, which is always pretty entertaining.
I just read one that listed under "Special talents and skills"-
-organization skills and neat/tiny person
This was a valedictorian. A tiny valedictorian.
As with most people, these students generally use a resume template (when they don't just write one large paragraph). Unlike most people, however, sometimes they forget to remove the prompts.
One guy's resume came with a large < < first > > < < last > > at the top, so his name appeared nowhere on the document. Another knew enough to replace his first name, but left < < last > > and < < email > >.
This one cracked me up:
Skills: Technical: Inept experience with Microsoft Word, Excel and Powerpoint
By the way, English is his native language. Says so.
Also deemed worthy enough to mention:
"experience with copy machines"
and
Four years of High School Exhibition Drill Team that requires you to smile often
And my favorite listed her typing speed as 83 mph.
That is fast.
hahaha fantastic post. more more! tiny valedictorian ...hahahaha
ReplyDeleteDid you get any with shiny star stickers all over it, or with smiley faces to dot all i's and j's?
ReplyDelete"neat and tiny? So, kind of like Rachel?" -Jerry
ReplyDeleteI like "experience with copy machines". Not even clear whether it is a good or bad experience. Maybe they copied their face once, or broke a machine... that's experience, right?
ReplyDeleteI think it would be hilarious if you called them in and only asked questions involving the item in question. "It's really important to us to see how big you can smile". "do you have to do face exercises for drill team?"
Jerry totally took my joke! When Claire told me about the 'neat, tiny person', I said, "so, someone to keep in your pocket who will jump out to help you clean up...kind of like Rachel."
ReplyDeleteMaybe Viv and I should put that on her next application...
Oh star stickers! I hadn't thought about her in a while. Me: "Sorry but you'll have to remove these from your application before we send it to the host university in Ghana". She: *Frowny pout* "Oh but they're soooo CUTE!"
ReplyDeleteWho wouldn't want a neat and tiny valedictorian?
ReplyDeleteOn my next application I (meaning Carrie and Vivian) could even list some experience under this bullet point:
- lived under stairs from Jan 2009 - Aug 2009
- managed sales of extraneous merchandise and ran the organization of Stan Tory's closets, cupboards, garage and sheds from June 2007 - Sept 2007
- periodically stowed in trunks, backseat floors, and closets from 1988-present