Operation Madera

Yesterday I rode the train up to Fresno to surprise Sarah for her birthday. About half an hour outside Fresno, however, Kathy calls me and says that Sarah is going to Madera to hang out with Beth...so maybe I could just ride the train up to the Madera station and get off there? I agree that this is a good idea, hang up, and start to plan.

The problem is that the conductor has marked my seat with an F, meaning I must get off in Fresno. He even comes around as we're coming into Fresno, looks me straight in the eye and says "you get off next stop". I smile and nod as if there is no doubt that I'm getting off in Fresno, all the while worrying about how I'm going to make it to Madera without getting caught...especially now that he's marked me.

Since I ride the train back and forth from Santa Barbara fairly often, I have a pretty good idea of the conductor's route through the bus as he takes tickets, and I think I know how to avoid him. In fact, I've planned this out before, just never had a reason or the guts to try it. But all sorts of possibilities are starting to worry me: I think there are two conductors...what does the second one do? What if instead of going back to front, this time he goes front to back? What happens on the lower level of the train? Will he recognize me if he sees me again?

I keep these concerns in mind, but try not to stress too much as I plan out my every move for the 30 minutes between Fresno and Madera.

Step 1- I remain in my seat for the 5 minute stop in Fresno. If the conductor does happen to walk by, I'll start slowly packing up my stuff so it looks like I'm getting off.

Step 2- Once the train starts to move, I have to get out of car 2. It's a dangerous place since a) too many people sitting next to me know that I should've got off in Fresno, b) the doors of cars 1 and 3 don't open, so my options to escape are limited, and c) right around the time we get to Madera is when the conductor will have made it to car 2 to collect tickets. So, I put on my backpack and start walking towards the back of the train. I have to try and make it all the way to car 4, since that's the next nearest place the doors open. It's risky to move backwards (since the conductor is moving forwards) but if I can somehow avoid him seeing me as we cross paths, then the rest of the trip will be relatively relaxed.

Step 3- I get to car 4 (I assume he's still taking tickets in car 5, but he'll be heading my way any time) and stow my bag in a luggage rack. I grab a long-sleeved shirt, and go change my appearance in the bathroom in car 4. I decide that taking my hair down and putting on a red shirt might make me look just different enough that the conductor wont recognize me if we do cross paths.

Step 4- I spend the next 15 minutes in the bathroom. Once I decide that he has probably passed by me now, I cautiously walk up to the top level...the coast seems clear. I go grab my bag and wait by the door, so it looks like I'm waiting to get off at Madera.

Step 5- I step off the train...and am almost face-to-face with the conductor! Luckily, I had a kleenex in my pocket just in case this happened, so I quickly grabbed it and blew my nose while making sure it covered half my face. I walk right past him and he didnt even recognize me.

So, Sarah and Beth came to pick me up at the Madera train station, not the Chowchilla police station. I would call that clandestine success!