Thankfully There Was A Bogaiaologowist

The Talking Tuba

by Hal Rees

You know how I hate hot dogs?

Oh, down the street

There’s a super-fast talking tuba.

They nothing could catch that on just their feet

Not even the police

And it was not sweet, just by the way.

Down by the street, there’s a talking tuba

Down on the street, I cannot go on my feet

Not even the police could catch him

But it was just too fast

He said, that a sandwich was not on my past

Oh on the street, there was a talking tuba

Oh how the neighbors were eggmagoofa

Thankfully there was a bogaiaologowist

That said that it was free.

But the only thing is that, I don’t know how to say this.

It was not free. Well. I can see

They really sounded out of tune.

Oh, Mr. Wegiblaus, with a pickle on my feet

Then, Mr. Wegiblaus, On his feet, it sounded out of tune by the way

Down by the river. Chalk his face was gone and I can’t just be

I’m gonna go as fast as I can on my feet, even though that it’s slower than the talking tuba. Bye.

Education

Growing up, school was a challenge for me. I got mostly B and C’s and that was if I tried hard.
I repeated the 3rd grade by choice because I just wasn’t getting it like the others. In high school
I had a science class that my dad and I would pore over the chapter and answer the questions to
the best of our ability. the next day in class I thought “I got this” to find I’ve gotten 3 out of 5 wrong.
So when I graduated High School I was done, no more school for me. Why would I pay for more
school when I didn’t even like it or was very good at it. 

Jump forward to 2014 I was sitting in stake conference and I heard about a program called pathways.
It was a program set up with Byu idaho to help people finish school or start school. Wow that sounds
like a really good program for someone, definitely not me. A few days went by, that’s a good thing
for you. NOPE! Hey that’s a program you should take advantage of. NOPE!  You should really do
this program. oh man I should do this program, this program is good for me rats! I finished the
pathways program and enrolled at BYUI online in Sept of 2015 and can you believe it I have gotten
A’s so far, except for a C in math but I’ll take it. I tell you this not so all of you think I’m great or to
go out and enroll at Byu or even to do the pathways program I tell you that you can do it if you feel
so inclined or get prompted to do so. What’s important is that The Lord wants us to always be
learning. Whether that is going to college, reading a book, taking classes or just studying the scriptures.
My grama Brown couldn’t go to an institute class so she would study with byu professors on the byu
channel.  With the internet you could pick any subject and learn about it. There is so much out there.
And If someone like me who doesn’t even like school can do it certainly you can too.

“Joseph Smith loved learning even though he had few opportunities for formal education.
In his journals, he spoke happily of days spent in study and often expressed his love of
learning. The Prophet Joseph taught, ‘Knowledge does away with darkness, anxiety, and
doubt; for these cannot exist where knowledge is.’" Dieter F. Uchtdorf

 “Your mind is precious! It is sacred. Therefore, the education of one’s mind is also sacred. Indeed, education is a religious responsibility. Of course, our opportunities and abilities will vary a great deal. But, in the pursuit of one’s education, individual desire is more important than is the institution you choose; personal drive is more significant than is the faculty. Our Creator expects His children everywhere to gain an education as a personal endeavor … When you leave this frail existence, your material possessions will remain here, but the Lord has declared that the knowledge you acquire here will rise with you in the resurrection … In light of this celestial perspective, if you impulsively drop out or otherwise cut short your education, you would not only disregard a divine decree but also abbreviate your own eternal potential.” President Nelson

My cousin Archer spoke in church few weeks ago about this same topic he said, “When you gain
knowledge you can teach others” and he also said something to the effect that no matter your age
you can always learn. I like that concept. Nola Ochs in 2007, at the age of 95, graduated from college
and was certified by Guinness World Records as the oldest person in the world to become a college
graduate. So see really at any age you can still be learning. 

I never thought more learning as far as collage goes was for me. But after being in school for a while
I see that I needed to move forward. I think I was kind of stuck in my life. I don’t know what I’m
going to do with my degree when I’m done but I know it’s important to finnish and learn what I can.
If going back to school is something you have been thinking about, I know the Lord will help you like
he does and has for me. As part of the pathways program I needed to take a writing class. I was very
scared because spelling and punctuation were not my strong suit. I mean it’s not until recently that I
learned the difference between there, they're their. I was so sure I was going to fail then what would
be the point of doing this whole school thing. When through my tears one night I heard, you may not
know spelling and punctuation but I do. The Lord wants us to learn so he will help us to accomplish
that task. 

“It is also clear that spiritual learning would not replace our drive for secular learning. The Lord
clearly values what you will find in that history book. And He favors not only Spanish verbs but
also the study of geography. His educational charter requires that we have “a knowledge also of
countries and of kingdoms” (D&C 88:79). There is also an endorsement for questions we study
in the sciences. It is clear that putting spiritual learning first does not relieve us from learning
secular things. On the contrary, it gives our secular learning purpose and motivates us to work
harder at it…Remember, you are interested in education, not just for moral life but for eternal life.”
Elder Eyring

I like the show NCIS, one of the main characters is Gibs, and he always says to his team “learn things.”
One of my examples of someone who “learned things” is my mom. She went back and got her master's
in education after most of her children were grown and she still had my sister Rachel at home, she had
to go down at night but she did it she “learned things.'' Also later in life, several of my sisters went
back to school to “learn things.'' My family to me is a great example of “learning things.” It' not
always easy to "learn things" but it's worth it and it can be fun sometimes.  

I heard the song “I’ll go where you want me to go” last week and it seemed to fit, I’m going to
change the words just a bit.

1. It may not be on the mountain height

Or over the stormy sea,

It may not be at the battle’s front

My Lord will have need of me.

But if, by a still, small voice he calls

To paths that I do not know,

I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:

I’ll learn what you want me to learn.

O Savior, if thou wilt be my guide,

Tho dark and rugged the way,

My voice shall echo the message sweet:

I’ll learn what you want me to learn.

So trusting my all to thy tender care,

And knowing thou lovest me,

I’ll do thy will with a heart sincere:

I’ll learn what you want me to learn.

Little Women in Salt Lake City

January 2020: when I had a fun-filled weekend with one sister, one daughter, and one niece.

Friday- Our day was so fancy, it was downright magical.  We started off with a visit to Cathedral of the Madeleine, slipping in the front doors just as it started to rain.  As we considered the "stations of the cross" in the stained glass windows, the organist decided to treat us by playing some hymns.  The notes echoed around the room as a sign of good things to come.

We then stopped by the capital building and wandered the vaulted halls and marbled floors.  Our driver brought the car around to pick us up in the front.

On to the main event! We arrived well in advance of our appointment for afternoon tea at the Grand America Hotel.  After being greeted by a congenial maître d' and a giant arrangement of fresh roses, we explored the hotel ballrooms, bakery, and toy shop.  Eventually, we all agreed that the most memorable was the bathroom, which included a stack of cotton towels instead of paper for the drying of one's hands.

When we sat down for tea, the atmosphere was perfect with a crackling fire and a harpist gently playing classics.  We practiced holding our tea cups the "right" way and discussing our thoughts on the British royal family.  Gwen, adorned with Rachel's string of pearls from Grandma Ashby, was brave and tried every food on the tray, regardless of how unrecognizable it was.

We had a bit of time before our movie, so the next stop was Deseret Industries where we found some tea and saucer sets as souvenirs of the day.  Then on to see "Little Women" where we mostly had the entire theater to ourselves.

We thought that the rest of the night would be relaxing at home, but then my friend texted to say that she was watching a UofU gymnastics meet and had extra tickets!  So we headed over, found a front row parking spot, and watched some amazing gymnastics to finish off the day.

Saturday and Sunday were a bit less eventful, but plenty nice.  These days included an elusive search for full english breakfast, Ruby Snap cookies, visiting friends, a wedding reception with Rachel's circle of friends, and Rachel giving a great talk on Sunday about "creative courage".

Safety Second

A rock may slide out from under your feet as you climb,
And you may get poison oak from time to time.
Or sometimes you are out and it's 30 degrees,
And you're sure you see a mountain lion, off in the trees.
But remember, it's better to twist an ankle or scrape a knee,
Than spend all day in front of the T.V.
Life is best when looking from the cliff's highest ridge,
Or jumping to cold water from off of a bridge.
Who said, "Safety First?"  They must be quite bores.
I bet their parents made them play indoors.
Adventure supreme!  It's sure to be reckoned
By all those brave souls who put safety second.

(Of course, adventurous people sometimes die, I've heard,
But I'm pretty sure those people put safety third.)

By Vivian Ashby Thomas
circa 2004

Conversation with a 4-year-old

-Driving home-

Mae: Why do people have cars? Why don't they just have strollers with a lot of seats?
Claire: Well, who would have to push that stroller?
Mae: It would have a steering wheel and an engine.
Claire: Ok. Well, cars make more sense, because they are safer. They have this strong roof that can protect you if you crash.
Mae: Well, this stroller would have a roof.
Claire: This stroller is sounding a lot like a car.
(beat)
Mae: But... it's a stroller.
Claire: Ok, ok, but how is it different than a car?
Mae: It's green.

Levi And Rachel's Big Colorado Adventure

It started with some surprises. Rachel hid at the airport to surprise Levi, but then he spotted her first and surprised her instead. Rachel hid in an extremely narrow box and surprised Theo, then we sent him to the garage pantry to fetch some LaCroix and he was surprised to find Levi instead. It almost wasn't a surprise, thanks to Lucy "Dear Heavenly Father, thanks that Rachel and Levi are coming to visit. Please make mom stop kicking me" Gregory, who forgot the plan for a bit. It's possible Theo doesn't listen THAT closely to family prayer.

We moved on to the eating. We ate:
- possibly the world's largest chocolate donut. Also some other stuff at Johnson's corner diner.
- pizza delivery
- unlimited cereal bar
- ramen noodles
- hot chocolate
- milkshakes all around and dinner at Vern's

Levi made the quote board when he said, "Celery tastes like yardwork." He's not wrong.

Statistics:
- # of bowls of cereal eaten by Levi at cereal buffet: 4
- # of bowls of cereal eaten by Rachel at cereal buffet: 0 ("We have cereal at home.")
- best classic cartoon shown at cereal buffet: Tom and Jerry Piano concerto
- Best sled run: Geronimo. Or Thunder.
- Number of times Levi was shot by Chris while playing secret Hitler: 2. Number of times he deserved it: 1 (?)

Most telling quote: "I don't know if Theo's bed is really small, or he just really likes to snuggle."- Levi
Also, Theo looking way up at Levi shortly after his arrival, "So, you're not on stilts or something?"

Sweetest moment: Tie. 1. Rachel sacrificing her character in the Haunted House game to save Lucy, Levi, a random girl, and a dog. 2. Levi and Theo asleep in the back seat of the car after sledding.

A conversation about What's The Biggest Animal You've Ever Killed. (Rachel: "Grandpa?")

Moment I couldn't believe: When Levi brought a box of See's Chocolate all the way from California for me...AND THEN FORGOT AND TOOK IT HOME AGAIN. Sigh. The chocolate gods hate me.

Don't worry. We split it.

Welcome to Colorado, kiddo.

Where's Rachel? 

Seize Candy

Many years ago Mom came to visit me in Puerto Rico. As I was grandly showing her around our apartment, I gestured magnanimously at the the pile of leftover Halloween candy in the fridge. "Have all you like," I said. "We really don't need it." Then I said, "There's also some good stuff up here," and showed her a large bag of Lindt's truffles on a different shelf. Several days later as I was helping her pack up to go home, I came across the bag of Lindt truffles in her suitcase.

"Would Mom really take all my good chocolate home with her?" I asked myself. Yes. Yes she would. I decided that she'd probably earned it in 30+ years of dedicated child rearing and let it go.

It's possible I should have had that on my mind when I met Claire at a gas station over Christmas break to hand over some presents that she'd left at Rachel's. Filled with the delight that comes with seeing a sister out of context (here I am at a gas station in the middle of Utah and there's Claire! Right there!), I thought about what could mark the moment. My brain lit upon a box of See's Candy that the Dansies had just given us when we left their house that afternoon.

"Claire, remember when we were kids, and a box of See's Candy was the ultimate in gift giving? Like if Grandma gave us a box we all knew it was super fancy and deserved the highest respect and excitement? Well would you like some See's Candy? I have some in the car."

Claire, looks willing but uncertain. "Well, sure, but I don't want your family to be mad."

Me, thinking my family should not begrudge Claire a piece of chocolate, or even three, "Oh no, it will be fine! Theo, run and grab the chocolates!"

And then I left to use the bathroom. When I returned, Theo was standing there empty handed, looking a little bewildered. And Claire? Claire was gone, the scent of gasoline and chocolate lingering where her car had been only moments before.

Theo and I looked at each other. I like to think that a single tear rolled down his cheek, or that I ran down the road after the car, shaking my fist and screaming "Bumpuses!" a la The Christmas Story, but really we were just stunned.
"Did Claire leave?" I asked. "With all the chocolates?" Theo nodded. "I wasn't sure what to say without seeming rude," he said.
"Huh." I replied, feeling a feeling that felt...familiar. Like of COURSE Claire (or Mom) can have all of my chocolates, but do you think there might have been a toffee one in there?

To her credit, Claire offered to turn around and meet us to give us back our box of chocolates. But the universe had spoken. And I need to be more careful about how I offer people candy.