Yesterday, in Three Acts

Act One

Scene One
Hal gets in a screaming match with my phone.

Hal: No, YOU are a robot! I am not a robot! I’m Hal!

Siri: I would prefer not to talk about HAL.

Hal (sobbing): What you mean?!

Scene Two

Gordon and Hal have a sit-down chat.

Hal: Why doesn’t she want to talk about me?

Gordon: There was a bad robot-computer once named HAL. She’s not talking about you.

Hal: Can I see a video?

Act Two

Scene One
Hal watching YouTube clips from 2001: A Space Odyssey

Dave: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

HAL: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Dave: What's the problem?

HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

Dave: What are you talking about, HAL?

HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

Dave: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL.

…...

Dave: HAL, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!

HAL: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

Scene Two

Hal wandering around our friends’ house, telling everybody he can see, one at a time, about the robot-computer HAL.

Hal: He doesn’t have arms or legs, but moves with the spaceship. He’s called HAL, and he won’t open the doors for Dave. And he talks through the red spot.

Act Three

Scene One
Hal watches more video of HAL before bed.

HAL: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.

Dave: Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.

HAL: It's called "Daisy."

[sings while slowing down]

HAL: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.

Scene Two

Bedtime. Hal crying in Gordon’s arms in his bed.

Hal: But I don’t want Dave to turn him off! Why did Dave shut down HAL? But why?!?

Sink bath

Theo: "To be honest, this is a bit awkward.  But I'm doing it for tradition."

I like this kid.

Some days I get so worn down by Hal- his energy, his needs, his lack of focus. He often sings at the top of his lungs. He has been known to jump on my belly when I wasn't expecting it, or pull my hair. He might dump out every bucket of toys in the house. He wakes up his sister.

But then he will also wrap his arms around my neck and say, "I really like you, Mom."

Or he will be chatting with his Uncle Adam, and say (unprompted), "Thank you for letting us stay at your house!"

Or he will watch Mae laughing across the room, and say, "Oh, she's cute!"

Or he will say to me, when I come through the door after a church meeting, "You shouldn't go to church without me! I missed you."

Or he will say a prayer, and thank Heavenly Father for letting his cousin Eric stay an extra day.

Or he will say, appreciatively, "This is a really, really good dinner, Mom!"

(These were all in the last four days)


I know it's unlikely, but I hope he's always this sweet.

Happy Birthday Sarah!

 Sarah's birthday fun included a roller coaster ride, a hidden geo cache, a trip to the moon, and watching a 1949 classic movie "The Heiress" in an old timey movie theater.  Happy birthday sister,  how I love you so.

Gregorys Under the River Kwai

Things that made me worried on the morning of the race:

- I forgot to pack underwear
- I've never run more than 3 miles in a row, ever.
- I had to steal socks out of Lucy's drawer. I was literally wearing school uniform socks.
- Most of the other teams had matching spandex outfits. Chris was wearing his swim trunks.
- Apparently Chris and I qualify for the Masters category, but I had signed us up in the regular category out of pride.
- At one point before the race started, I looked down at the gears on my bike and couldn't remember whether higher was better for uphill, or lower.....?

We had some bets with our friends, Jonny and Nicole. You got points for:
- first blood (Chris won, within about 10 minutes)
- first couple's fight (a tie. Both of us mad at our husbands at the same point in the cycling leg)
- first serious swear word (I think I might have won this. I don't want to tell you what I said.)
- overall winners (they beat us by about 10 minutes)

Overall, it was extremely hard and extremely fun. Of the people on this poster, I think I most resembled the swimming girl:

Remember this?

I was remembering this situation because of Darcy's graduation coming up and pulled out the article to show my kids. I wondered if it ever made it onto Woodpile.. for memories sake...

900 Nights in Bangkok and the World's Your Oyster.

"Someone should do a study on the human's ability to adapt to luxury." - Tina Fey

Our time in Bangkok is already starting to feel like a dream. The other morning when I was putting out food for the lizard in the bathroom, it occurred to me that there are things I have adapted to, and things I would probably never get used to, even if we lived here forever:

-  the lizards, to start. There are at least 2 that live in the kitchen, and now the new baby one in the bathroom (poor little guy, he'll starve in there!). I've gotten used to hearing them late at night,  rummaging around in the trash for food scraps.

- If you'd told me when we first moved here that I would get used to being driven around town, Miss Daisy-style, I would have laughed in your face. Now I happily have the car door opened for me, answer to 'Madam', and sit comfortably in the back seat reading my book while my driver navigates traffic, pumps the gas, and parks the car after dropping me off. I hear you judging me, but here's the thing...you would get used to it too.

- But on the subject of luxury, it has been three years and I am not any more comfortable with having someone in my house cleaning than I ever was. By which I mean, extremely UN-comfortable. I never know what to say. I never know where to be, or what I should be doing. I can't use the kitchen, because it feels like her space, and also because then I'm just there, making even more mess, right in front of her. Still, I have persevered, because otherwise who would wash the dishes?

- One of my least favorite things about Asia, and something I'll never be used to, is having random drops of stuff fall on your head when you're walking down the street. I'm not sure what it is, and I'm not sure I want to know. Old rainwater? Condensation from the power lines? Someone tossing something out the window? Or..? No matter what, it's not good.

- The moto-taxi. I'm now comfortable walking up to a cluster of men hanging out on the corner with their motorcycles, picking one out, climbing on the back and zooming away. In fact, it's one of my favorite things here- the efficiency combined with just a touch of danger.

- Speaking of motos, I love being able to push some buttons on my phone and somewhere in the city a moto guy is dispatched to bring me some food. From almost any restaurant in town. For a $2 delivery fee. THAT I have definitely gotten used to.

- I will never get used to the heat here. I mean, I must have adapted somewhat, but it's hard to tell.

- I have gotten used to leaving the kids home alone while I go out. The crazy part is that my friends all have live-in maids so THEY can go out any evening as well. It feels like we're in college. Or is this what old people feel like?

- What also feels like college, in more of a bad way, is apartment living. The apartment itself is fine, but I have not gotten used to sharing common space with so many people. I'd like to have a whipped cream fight, or a chicken party, or shoot a bow and arrow without anyone judging.

It's not exactly real life, but it almost feels like it sometimes. I will miss you, Bangkok.