When the Universe Gives You a Pony...

"George Washington's pants really dominate the scene," said Vivian. "I'm thinking of making some especially for Chris to wear."

That was my first clue that things were getting serious with our art-reenactment plans for Thanksgiving. My next clue was when the sign-up sheet for props included a pony. "I'll bring scarves," I said.

Fast forward 6 weeks to when we all arrive at Mom's for Thanksgiving and find a white bouncy horse toy just hanging around the backyard. Magic.

The white horse is one of my favorite parts of this picture, but there are so many. Resolute Claire channeling the brown horse is one. Chris, with his sports socks, determined stance, and closed eyes is another. Sarah's puffed cheeks, Gordon and Rachel's bookended action poses, and the plastic sheet iceburgs are some others. Mom's grizzled rifleman cracks me up every time. I love the fact that Vivian looks more than a little bit like Bono along for the ride. The grass on the driveway makes me happy too. Of course it's Rachel's seamless editing that makes it a work of art.
This year, I would like to thank the universe for a white plastic bouncy horse, and for my spectacular family. I'd cross the Delaware with you guys anytime.

Flying Over Auberry

When I was flying back to SLC after Thanksgiving, I looked out the window as my plane took off and saw 168 below me. I casually watched it meander towards the Foothills, fully expecting us to veer more north like my flights usually do...but I noticed we just kept flying over 168. It became hard to follow once the terrain became hilly and I started to think I had lost the trail after a while, but then...hey! That semicircular cluster of buildings has got to be Foothill! And hey, that's Canyon Fork! Which means somewhere after the church the trailer park should be about there, which it is! and I bet that darker area is where the creek goes, and that means home is... right there. I stared at the little spot for a long time. Finally Blue Heron moved out of view of my little window and we kept going past where the Camp would be, past Shaver Lake, past Huntington, after which I didn't recognize anything. 

Has this ever happened for you guys before? Maybe it's not that crazy but I thought it was trippy and heartwarming to think that if Mom/Sarah/Grandpa/Carrie/Lucy/Theo happened to look up into the sky right then I would be waving at them from a plane.

It was a view of home I had never seen before.

Scenes from Thanksgiving 2018

Let's see...we went on some good walks. The kids complained about sitting at the kids' table and then had a great time in there. Rhubarb custard pie with smuggled rhubarb. George Washington's pants. Hal working the camera. Cute Mae singing songs: "There's no PLANET like MY PLANET!" Taking Lucy for her first driving outings. Nighttime word games (mermaid poop). What else?

Gregory Kids Update

Theo is giving a speech tomorrow at school as Martha Washington. I called my friend and asked, "Do you have anything in your costume box that would work for Martha Washington?" She said, "I have a Martha Washington costume. It actually says it on the tag." (???!)
Then I made him a wig out of a shower curtain and cotton balls. "She was quite a lady," says Theo.

Lucy took a personality test at school today. Her lowest scores were in the categories of 'hope' and 'zest'.

Summer 2018

Yeah, yeah, so it's now Fall 2018, but I wanted to remember this summer. Because we had a pretty good time. Here are some photos to jog your memory...can you remember anything that we did?

A Tale of Two Runs

So, last weekend, I ran my first ever 10k. My first ever race, really, if you don't count 6th grade.

I was a little nervous, hoping my joints wouldn't just quit halfway in, and I'd have to get picked up by volunteers on a golf cart.

But around Mile 4, I was still feeling good, and I was proud of myself. I even decided I could run a little more than I had been.

There was a man near me that looked to be in his eighties. He was running fairly slowly, but he was running continuously, even though he could not hold his body upright.

I thought, "He's obviously in really good shape for his age, and he seems better prepared for this race than I am, but I WILL beat him across that finish line."

It gave me a little added incentive.

Finally, I could see the balloon arch in the distance, and knew we were getting close. My shoulder was tightening up, and I was really ready to be done, but that man was still neck and neck with me, so I had to keep it up.

It was surprisingly difficult, but I managed to get across the finish line just a little ahead of him.

I knew it was silly....that beating an old man at this race did not mean I was some sort of "athlete." But I'd given myself a goal, and I'd accomplished it. I'd finished the race (in less time than I'd hoped), AND I'd done it faster than that man.

Just look how determined and focused I was-

(This is right before the finish line- you can check out my competition on the left)

So, I went online later to find out exactly how old this man was, to give more detail to my story and my memory. Turns out he is 86.

Also turns out- his time was 2 minutes less than mine.

That's right.

I did not gain on him, in the race, and eventually pass him. He actually started much after me, and passed me (a bunch of times).

Oh well. Maybe next year, Eugene Cook!

Kids

Mae called Gordon into the bathroom to help her use the toilet-

Gordon: You know what I remember about Mae?
Mae:What?
Gordon: I remember that Mae knows how to do this all by herself.

Mae: You know what I remember about Mae?
Gordon: What?
Mae: Help me.

Awkward Circumstance, Part 2

Carrie and the kids came to stay in Utah for a couple weeks. They stayed at a friend’s house in Provo for a couple nights and bought tickets to go watch the musical Oklahoma at Sundance before heading back up to Salt Lake. Sadly, Lucy threw up the night before and was still too sick to go, which caused a conundrum - Carrie didn’t want her tickets to go to waste, but she also didn’t want to go then come back to Provo to pick up Lucy then drive up to the Gregorys in SLC. I happened to be down in Provo, so I offered to pick Lucy up and bring her back up to SLC with me so Carrie and Theo wouldn’t have to miss any of the play. 

I texted Carrie asking her to call me when the play was over so I could know where to take Lucy and what to do with her, but we were never able to connect. So, I just drove to my apartment, thinking Lucy could lay on my couch until Carrie got there to transfer her to the Gregorys. However, just as I was about to park Lucy arose from her stupor enough to moan, “Am I staying at your house?” 

“No, but the Gregorys don’t know we’re coming and I just thought you could stay here for an hour until your mom…”

“I know the code to get in” she interrupted, obviously just wanting to get into her bed as quickly as possible.

“Okayyyy,” I said, feeling a little weird about letting myself into someone’s house so late at night when they didn’t know I was coming. But, I reasoned, the Gregorys would probably be asleep and I could deposit Lucy in the guest room quietly and then leave. 

Sure enough, the house was completely dark when we pulled up. Lucy let us in the back door, we stumbled through the dark house into the guest room, and I tucked Lucy in. Feeling like a bad aunt for just leaving her alone, I patted her and magnanimously said, “Can I get you some water or something before I go?”

“Can I have some ice?”

I hesitated. A cup of water would be easy since the bathroom was close. But ice? Getting ice meant delving deeper, uninvited, into a house whose owners probably think of me as the “dead frog girl” (see Pomp & Awkward Circumstance). But how could I deny my poor sick niece this one comfort?

So that’s how I found myself creeping like a home invader through a dark strange house at 11 pm, right past a dark strange hallway that HAD SOMEBODY WALKING TOWARDS ME. My heart and lungs immediately stopped working but my legs managed to walk me two more steps into the kitchen before they too froze. My brain, however, started firing a million miles a minute, weighing options and variables in a panic. 

DID SHE SEE ME DO I ANNOUNCE MYSELF OR DO I HIDE SHE CANNOT FIND ME HERE SHE MIGHT DIE (I MIGHT DIE) HOW GOOD IS HER HEARING AND EYESIGHT STILL PRETTY SHARP I THINK DANGIT SHOULD I SNEAK INTO THE NEXT ROOM MY FLIP FLOPS ARE SO LOUD SHOULD I PRETEND TO BE CARRIE PEOPLE SAY I SOUND LIKE HER PLEASE GLYNIS PLEASE DON’T COME IN HERE OR TURN AROUND OR TURN ON THE LIGHT I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING IT’S LIKE THE FROG ALL OVER AGAIN WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME I JUST WANT THEM TO LIKE ME I CAN’T LET HER SEE ME OR SHE’LL NEVER INVITE ME OVER FOR QUICHE AND GOOSEBERRY PIE EVER AGAIN WHAT DO I DO?!?!

After what felt like an eternity, she simply walked out of the hallway, looked to see that the guest bedroom light was on, then turned around and walked back down the hallway. I stood frozen in the kitchen, listening to her retreating steps, waiting until I heard the bedroom door close, and then waiting another minute for good measure (and to try to calm down somewhat). 

There’s no quiet way to get ice, but I managed to get some in a water bottle I pilfered from the counter and then sneaked back to the guest bedroom (now holding flip flops in hand), where I swore Lucy to secrecy. “Your grandparents don’t need to know that I was ever here!” 

A couple days later Glynis invited me over to join the family for Sunday brunch. “It’s so good to have you, it’s been so long since we’ve seen you!” she kindly exclaimed. Well, I thought, it hasn’t been that long since I’ve seen you!

A Flash Flood of Elk

"I don't believe in moose," Carrie proclaimed, after hiking 9 minutes and still not seeing a moose.

"Be careful, the last time you said you didn't believe in something you got flash-flooded..." Rachel warned.

"You're right, now we're probably going to be stampeded."

40 minutes later...

"WHAT is that NOISE?!?"

For a minute I thought we actually had conjured a flash flood of moose... It was no less cool to realize it was "just" 25 frisky elk that had leaped into the lake to play next to us.

Vivian suggests Carrie should proclaim she "doesn't believe" in $1,000,000.

"Go down the slide" they said, "It will be fun" they said.

June 11 was the fateful day. I had decided to try out a new pool from the one we always go to. That should of been my first clue that something was going to go wrong. When we got to the pool everything seemed okay, shallow part, (check) life jackets, (check) warmish, (check) fun slide, (check). Bridger went down just fine then it was Keeley's turn and she was a little scared. "I'll go with you" I said being the brave one. As we climbed the ladder to the top of the slide we had no idea the chain of events that would transpire next. As we hit the water my right foot hit the bottom of the pool, right away there was a pain in my right leg. I made my way to the edge and sat still hoping the pain would go away, it was not. How was I going to make it home? As I sat watching the kids swim I thought maybe I could make it to the car it didn't hurt "that bad." Keeley decided she didn't want her life jacket on because she had googles on and wanted to look under the water. To sum up she wandered off the shallow part, Art Levitt noticed, I had to move fast, she threw up on the side, and we "needed" to leave. We got home. A panic call to Carrie and a week later I'm still hobbling along. I wont be going down any slides anytime soon or ever. 

Group Chat of Brilliance

Carrie: Apparently you can clone your cat for $25,000. That made me wonder about cloning Rachel.
Beth: Sign me up. Wait, so do I get to raise her? Or we cloning older Rachel?
Carrie: Well, I think she'd start out little. But how cute would that be? But what if you got an evil clone and ended up with a mean Rachel? Clearly I'm going to have to think this through.
Beth: No such thing.
Carrie: YET
Sarah: I'll take one
Beth: This is obviously a completely full proof plan. (Fool proof? Huh. Never thought about that saying.)
Vivian: Who gets the original? And do we have to keep them separate at all times?
Carrie: Me. Because I'm oldest. You guys have more time to raise your own.
Sarah: Haha
Claire: Also, don't you think seeing a real evil Rachel is worth it?
Carrie: I would kind of like to see evil Rachel, but I'd be scared too.
Carrie: Would we make original Rachel babysit the littles?
Claire: Hahaha. Of course.
Beth: She could RAISE the Littles, then pass them out when they were properly ready.
Vivian: Hahaha
Claire: Does Rachel want one of her own?
Beth: Hahaha
Carrie: Oh! Good question. It would be like picking a puppy our of the litter. "I'll take that little frisky one in the corner."
Claire: This would be a pretty interesting study in nature vs nurture. Which Rachel would be the coolest? Smartest? Nicest?
Sarah: Which one of us raised her best
Beth: It seems like 'cloning' implies a certain amount of 'same same', don't you think? If we're gonna clone Rachel, I want a Rachel.
Claire: Well, then you'll have to send her to Mom for raising.
Beth: Carrie, you look into the gene splicing and we'll give her some of your sleeping genes and then she'll be perfect.
Carrie: I dunno, sounds risky. What if she started sleeping AND throwing money at problems? Could be all wrong.
Beth: Haha
Sarah: Hahaha

Rachel: Oh my gosh, I go take a shower and come back to my 6+ lives all planned out! This is incredible.
(general laughing)
Vivian: Oh great, RACHEL is on this thread? How are we going to steal some of her hair now?

Of Chickens and Onions, a poem by Carrie

"Will chickens eat onion skins?"
I wonder as I chop.
I wouldn't.
But maybe
that's not relevant.

Jerry Hearts Vivian

Jerry made a pretty awesome video for Vivian. You can watch it here.

Rachel in a Nutshell

Rachel cleaned out the center console of her car today. She found: ketchup, a CDC pen, a Provo bingo card, sunscreen from her trip to Cote d'Ivoire (in 2014), a spoon, Victoria Secret lip gloss (she claims is not hers), pepper spray (also not hers), and five fire crackers (definitely hers).

Chase That Happy, II

What little things make YOU happy?

Carrie:
Neighborhoods where the houses look different from one another.
Bright juicy oranges on cold grey winter days.
When Theo prays that we will be able to avoid "dastardly sins".
Naps with cats.
Banff film festival trailers.

Claire:
Mae calling me "Mama Pig," with a sparkle in her eye.
Chocolate cake.
Hearing kids in another room, playing and laughing with each other.
Ant spray.
Rain.

Sarah:
When Keeley says, "you know what? I like you."
When something makes me laugh out loud.
Spring time
Going to the movies
chickens
snow

Theo:
Board games
Snuggling
Chocolate. Good Chocolate.
When I impersonate Elvis.

Rachel:
Mae singing me skidamarink-a-dink
Underdogs winning
Old men wearing hats

Waking up to surprise snow
Drinking beverages out of goblets

Beth
warm water on cold days
my older kids
my younger kids (in a totally different way)
slow motion humans put to cool music
clever scriptures you never noticed before
eggs
sydneys art

Peekaboo, ICU

Jerry’s surgery at UCLA was a big, scary event that had surprisingly happy moments mixed in as well. In no particular order, here are some memories from the week:

-          The Safe House. Vivian somehow managed to find an apartment 2 blocks away from the hospital. By the second day we had worked out an elaborate short cut where if you went across the hospital gardens, through the parking garage, around the corner, through a maze of identical hallways and entered a code on an unmarked door you would find yourself in a perfectly staged apartment of brown suede couches and tasteful window coverings. The safe house felt…safe.

       

-          We played Trivia Crack in the pre-op area to pass the time and keep everyone from thinking too much about what was to come. The pre-op area did not feel safe.

        

-          Initially Jerry’s surgery was scheduled for 5am, but it got pushed back and back. He didn’t go into the OR until almost 3pm, which meant that we didn’t see him again until 930 pm and we didn’t get back to the safe house that night until almost 2am. That was a long day.

          

-          BUT, seeing Jerry in the ICU that night was delightful. Everyone was a little bit giddy with relief to see him awake and OK and so very Jerry. He told knock knock jokes. He expressed his love for each Ashby sister individually. He sassed the nurse. At one point, after a particularly dry joke the nurse looked at him quizzically, trying to figure out if he was kidding. Eventually she tilted her head to one side, narrowed her eyes and said, “I’m going to write down ‘humor- intact.’”

         

-          There was a moment when Jerry stood up in his hospital gown and I averted my eyes to avoid any impropriety. A few minutes later he said, “Carrie, I have a song for you,” and he serenaded me with Chicago’s ‘Look Away’. (If you see me walkin by, and the tears are in my eyes, look away, baby, look away…)

-          While playing trivia, Jerry knew an answer about the Michal Jackson song ‘Smooth Criminal’. We were so impressed that we decided we would ask him the same question after the surgery to see if he still had it. He did.

-          One of his nurses was named Natalia and she had a thick Ukranian accent. At one point after Claire had arrived, Jerry asked for another pillow. The nurse nodded and then said, “You haf all dees women here,” (gesturing at all of us). We weren’t sure what she meant by that exactly.

-          The Magic Helmet. After his surgery, Jerry had a truly impressively gauze-wrapped head. The bandage came to just below his eyebrows and made it look like he was wearing an igloo on his head. It was somehow really adorable.

-          While waiting for Jerry to get out of surgery, we decided to get some dinner. Vivian suggested Korean BBQ. I was concerned that having a BBQ while Jerry was in the OR was a little too close to singing karaoke while your husband is getting a spinal tap (I’ve made that mistake before). But there was no actual BBQ at the Korean BBQ, so that seemed OK after all.

Art Reincarnated

In preparation for their trip to the Netherlands over Christmas, Carrie asked our friend Elliott if he would give the Gregory family an art history lesson via Google Video so they could learn a bit about the art they’d see. One of the pieces he covered was The Feast of St Nicholas by Jan Steen, a piece that exemplifies a popular trend from that time period in which the scenes depicted serve as warning against vice. In this piece, we see a greedy child who won’t share, her sobbing brother who has been naughty, a drunk father, a creepy grandma, food and debris strewn around, etc. etc.

Carrie made a joke about how “our family could serve as a warning against vice” and thus the idea to recreate the painting was conceived. It’s amazing how willing everyone was to participate and how quickly it all came together - Carrie decided who was going to play which part, everyone helped find their own costume and rearrange the dining room, Beth and Sydney directed us, Sarah outperformed everyone, and I did minimal photoshop edits. And thus the masterpiece was reborn:

 

Presenting our “living tableau” to Elliott for Christmas was so satisfying. He loved it so much he was at first speechless, then he couldn't stop talking about it. His only critique: "You know what's missing? The vice. Everyone in your family is just filled with too much goodness." He says he's going to share this in all his art history classes.

I thought that was the end of it, but then I decided to jump on a current fad where you use the Google Arts and Culture app to take a selfie and have your face analyzed to see what piece of artwork you look like. Guess what result I got?

A self-portrait of Jan Steen, painter of the Feast of St Nicholas! I like to think Google face analytics stared into my soul and saw that since I helped recreate his painting, a little bit of Jan is reborn in me.

But also, I do kind of look like him.

The Christmas Card that Wasn't

I didn't get a Christmas Card sent this year, but if I had it would have been something like this:

A quote to sum up the year, for each Gregory family member...
Chris: "Pun, pun, joke, unhelpful advice." -Lucy, summarizing Chris's parenting style
Carrie: "Mom, your answer for most things is to throw money at it and then take a nap." -Theo
Lucy: "I would like to be a housecat because they're a lot like me- they just want to lie on the couch and judge you."
Theo: (Carrie, exasperated) "THEO! Do you just get everything you want?!" (Theo, genuinely puzzled) "Well yes, but that's because I have reasonable goals."

We wish the best for all of you and your reasonable goals in 2018.

music

I had this question in one of my classes. I keep changing my mind "oh, this is a good song." "oh, this is a good one too." " I know I'm not thinking of some classics." Imagine that you are about to be shipwrecked on a deserted island for the next thirty years. You are given an iPod-it has unlimited solar powered batteries, but only enough space for five pieces of music. What will you load on this iPod?
“ Wake Up” by The Vamps
“Come go with Me” by The Del-Vikings.
"Alligator Stroll" by Josh Turner
“Act my age” by One Direction.
"House Party" by Sam Hunt

Carrie:
Phew, this is a hard question. 

Fantasie Improptu, by Chopin. Made me cry re-listening to it just now.
Rhapsody in Blue by Gershwin
Don't Think Twice, It's All Right, by Bob Dylan
Where The Streets Have No Name, by U2. Best intro to any song, ever, in my opinion.
Crazy, by Patsy Cline. Because it's a fantastic song and I love her voice, and that's what I'd be after listening to only 5 songs for 30 years. 

Lucy:
-The Star Wars theme song, because I think jumping around on the beach in time with it might keep me busy for a really long time.
-Rhapsody in Blue
-The Anglerfish by Hank Green, because it would keep me from curling up into a ball and dying.
-Ride by 21 Pilots because I could think about the lyrics for a long time and I could sing it real loud so passing ships could hear me.
-Feel it Still, by Portugal the Man. Because have you listened/danced to that song?

Claire:
Beethoven's Fifth Symphony
Imitosis- Andrew Bird
Trouble- Ray LaMontagne
Birdhouse in Your Soul- They Might Be Giants
Galileo- Indigo Girls