Funny Ha Ha

What are the funniest things ever said in our family? Taken in context, meaning no one else needs to think they are stand-alone funny. Here are my nominations:

- "Soft bread was good enough for Jesus" - Vivian, circa 1997

- "You know about Gordon, right?" - Theo

- "None of these is a chocolate croissant!"  - Carrie

- "I frew tumbody's keys" - Hugo

"I would say Evan, but then everyone would know I was lying." - GORDON

"Well, at least I have my bread..." - Sydney

"You're talking about spherical dimensions!" - Jerry

"He's wild, and he smells like blue cheese." - Lucy

"What do you call a satisfactory buffalo?... Enoughalo!"  - Rachel

"You look like a walking intestine." -Hal

Thoughts from Beth

Lemon bars aren’t as good when I make them.  They are so much better in my head.  It says “Lemon Bars of Disappointment” at the top of my recipe card.  I keep making them.  I think that’s a testament to how good they are in my head.

I read the Queen's Thief series again.  Dang that is entertaining writing.  As I read, I made myself forget the exciting parts coming up.  But like me showing a friend a movie I love, I failed to remain impartial and unwillingly gave it away.

My enthusiastic YW leader just sent out a text asking if anyone would like to meet at her house at 9am (on a Sat) to make a Chinese dragon.  Like, for real size.  Two Beths are warring (one r or two?) in opposition in my head.  I’m going, I’m bringing paper plates, wire, and spray paint, but I did sigh about it.

Since around age 45, I can’t remember how to take my pants off while standing up.  Balance seems fine, but those feet just don’t want to hover quite as high for quite as long so I can work the pant leg around my foot before I fall over..with my legs shackled by said pant leg. This might be my major motivation for embracing the wide pant leg trend. Socks are right out.

If a friend leaves unopened snacks in your car after a hike (where they were sharing snacks with you), do you eat them or give them back?   What if they are GOOD snacks, liiiike, hypothetically, freeze dried strawberries from Trader Joes?

Speaking of the hike, the high water mark at big pools is beyond epic. I have been kicking myself for not driving up there when everything was flooding. HIGH, you guys. The water is now FIVE (5!) feet lower. I know some of you think I'm exaggerating, but I have already adjusted myself for inflation (I wrote 10 originally). The downstream side of the swim hole is like an infinity pool.. just pouring out flat, not in a stream. SO. Much. Water. The tree you climb around (between it and the cliff face) to get to the rope is gone. I also saw a HUGE salamander. So glad to see my callow attempts to personally wipe out their species failed.

There is some paperwork that I need to fill out and assemble copies of documents and submit before a certain deadline and I CANT MAKE MYSELF DO IT. Like a bureaucracy force field. All other bills and adulting are proceeding normally.   I even take the folder with me to work and give it sidelong glances while I eat my lunch.  It’s not happening.

I totally had a “Put me in Coach!” moment when, at the PTA meeting, they were talking about how hard it was to find people to dunk in the dunk tank for the big Carnival in April.  For obvious reasons (and it’s on my bucket list), I said I would do it.  The board all looked at each other and the president got a nudge from someone, pointed at me, and mouthed “Ask her now!”.  She smiled shyly, said they had something else in mind for me… and asked if I wouldn’t mind making some money for the library by DJING THE WHOLE CARNIVALL!!  They would pay the library $200 and save quite a bit of money from not hiring the same ‘ol DJ from the other years.  The freakin Webster Elementary Spring carnival!  I sat in the parking lot right after the meeting and started a play list.  I vote this is a musicfest theme (Carnival groove music).. sometime before April..

Today I had a little kid ask me if I had a book “about wabbits…with waffles?”. 

I just said no.

Noted

There's a nice couple in my ward that do sacred harp singing, and when I mentioned I was connected to the Rees family (who are practically royalty in the shape note singing world) I got an invitation. I've been meaning to go for months but always had something come up. This Tuesday I was finally able to go, and it was so fun. I planned to tell Claire about the next time I talked to her, but I needn't have bothered - the next morning I got this text from Claire:

"I see from the minutes of the Tuesday singing that you were there. :)"

Chloe knows all.

Summer 2022

                       

The beach house did us all a favor by being unavailable, so we went to the Thomas's instead. 

Non-dairy milk taste-testing turned out to be the most controversial and memorable one we've ever had. ALL the milks were bad, some of them even literally expired. The decibel level in the Thomas kitchen was off the charts as most people had definite opinions to express. Loudly.

Jerry, Levi, and Theo rode almost 200 miles in 4 days, from Santa Cruz to San Luis Obispo. Jerry reported that the biking/whining ratio from our boys made him proud.

We went on a doughnut walk that ended in doughnut happiness.

 Colin went to visit Utah and flew home by himself, narrowly making it back after some flight cancellation shenanigans.

We had an excellent time playing in the waves at the beach. At one point all the Ashby sisters were in a line playing "Hold Your Ground" against the waves and having a pretty great time. Jackson took the pink bunny suit surfing.

A tour of the USS Midway was a big success.

Multiple games of Quiplash were highly entertaining. The kids are getting funnier.

Darcy bravely took the boys to play pool, while Sydney, Lucy, Carrie, Gwen, and Mae got pedicures. "This is the best day of my life" said Mae. Now that I think about it, I really owe Darcy a pedicure.

Gregorys went on two river trips: an all-drug Olympics run of the Smith river in Montana, and a more family friendly one on the Lower Salmon in Idaho. We got to watch a rattlesnake settle in under our tent, and were really glad when it left again.

Thomases made an epic 70+ hr journey to get to Copenhagen, and I think they decided it was worth it.

We had a book club with Jen and Adrienne where we discussed The Book Thief. Raise your hands if you like Jen and Adrienne (all hands go up).

Facil Peasy

Furry amigo helps Carry

So we've been doing the Wordle every day, and the 5-letter word format inspired us to see if we could communicate only in 5 letter words. Some of my favorite exchanges (otherwise known as Wordl Spark Funny Games):

Ca: Wordl takes lotsa guess today

    R: Sames. Rache cheat. Shame.

Ca: Rache cheat??! NOway! Carry wants cheat!

    R: Hahah. Carry moral & adept, lacks cause cheat. Rache shady. Rache dense.

Ca: (video of Theo spelling words while doing push ups) Gulag train works

    Cl: laugh aloud

Ca: Agree. Makes Carry happy.

Ca: Clair plays wordl rules right

    Cl: first class fiver

Ca: Bored, kinda alone. Ideas?

    R: APBio, maybe?

Ca: Usted makes great ideas.

    R: Merci. Mosie cover belly. Stuck couch. Carry sleep today?

Ca: Mosks/socks equal hygge.

    R: Thumb above.

Ca: Carry sleep great, brief. Sleep again later. Thumb above makes Carry laugh aloud.

    R: Self's happy makes carry laugh

Ca: Usted tiene goals today?

    R: laugh aloud. Goals: visit Provo amigo. Thine goals?

Ca: Empty trash. Tarea. Leave comfy couch.

(later) Ca: Visit amigo? Leave Provo? Goals ended? Carry empty trash, check. Leave comfy couch, sorta. Carry makes tarea, never.

Little girly smart pants

Ca: Carry proud GwenT solve Wordl after twice tries. GwenT adept.

    V: Sorry later reply. Agree, little girly smart pants

    V: HugoT rapid skier today again. Feets alike fries, never pizza

Ca: HugoT shows super sport skilz. Jerry/Sista breed heros. Carry loves smart brave young folks.

Ca:Wordl kicks booty today. Chris/Carry works likes teams, saves selfs. Lucks, y'alls

Cl: Lucky minor guess VOUCH helps impart start

Cl: (just realized impart is not 5 letters. Oops)

Ca: Carry, Rache avoid being judgy. Cease worry

R: Carry forgo being judge, Rache super judgy

Ca: Rache funny, sassy

Cl: Laugh aloud, sassy Rache

Sarah's Graduation Party at the Clubhouse

 What are we going to do? I wondered to myself. I shouldn't have worried. We thought of some stuff.

"How do I uncross her eyes, Sydney?" "Well, just don't draw them like that."

Another Thanksgiving That Couldn't Be Beat

 November 2021

So many pies. Orange Meringue, Apple Cider Vinegar. Very good blueberry. Berry with Cardamom Cream, Apple Cream, Peacheesy, and Sugar Cream.

George Washington Crosses the Delaware puzzle. Darcy's friend Christopher turns out to be a good puzzler and a very good sport.

The Anatomy Lesson of Dr Tulp

Ashby family party at Don and Meredith's new place. Leaving the boys playing pool on Bry's new pool table.

Thanksgiving meal outside. Lovely weather.

Pile O Boyz

Bacon-wrapped turkey. Sarah's graduation, complete with cliche-filled speech and a write up in the Mountain Press. The most amazing Pomp and Circumstance ever to grace the Auberry hills.